When my dad became ill that last time, at one point, he told me he didn’t want to die. By then, it was too late. There was no magic pill, surgery option, or diet he could go on that would allow him to take care of his body.

When you are young, you don’t think about your mortality, as a human. Heck, my dad wasn’t young, proving most people don’t think about it until its upon them. You should, because sometimes the inevitable is preventable.

I got a reality check this week. At my latest doctor’s appointment, my Electrocardiogram showed abnormal activity. I haven’t had an EKG for about a year, and that last time, everything looked good. As someone with a muscle disease who also has a history of heart problems in my family, I’m conscientious enough to make sure I get my heart checked regularly.

I’ve been feeling fine lately. Other than being tired from my frequent physical therapy sessions, I haven’t had much illness. Every PT session I get my Blood Pressure taken and it’s always within a very healthy and normal range. I’ve not had problems with high/bad cholesterol nor have I experienced any chest pain, so I’m somewhat confused about the lack of symptoms when it comes to this abnormality.

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The conservative right have one argument I just giggle at. I have to wonder why they picked ducks. Why couldn’t they have picked billy goats or chimpanzees? What’s so spectacular about ducks?

Bill O’Reilly has started that if gay marriage is allowed, next people will want to marry ducks. This is a common “slippery slope” argument. It isn’t accurate though since ducks cannot consent to being married to humans and the whole purpose of legalizing gay marriage is to allow two, adult, consenting same sex partners to marry.

Well, Pat Robertson had to talk about ducks, too. He doesn’t like the fact that a bill is on the table that would protect sexual orientation under the status of hate crime. If we protect the “gays” what’s next? Should we protect the guy who wants to have sex with a duck? Should that guy be protected under the status of hate crime?!

Seriously, Pat. Are you that stupid? How can you compare duck love to same-sex love? That’s just silly.

Apparently, two pro-gay marriage actresses agree. They’ve come up with a video response/parody. It’s quite funny.

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I’ve been very busy trying to redesign sites (and yes, Dominick Evans Online is getting a very nice redesign). I haven’t had much time to devote to posting about anything. I figured I’d talk about a relatively safe topic, since I’m sure some controversial posts will be coming on my blog soon.

I want to talk about movies. In particular, those that have moved me. I have been thinking about the Holocaust, lately. The sacrifices people made to help those who were taken by the Nazis and the bravery of those who were taken to camps and tortured, were murdered, or watched members of their families head off to their death. This is what brought me to a place where I wanted to write this. I’d like to share with you the movies that have touched me, and there is more than one that has to do with the Holocaust.

So, without further ado, I’m going to get right into the list.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas – This movie broke my heart. I don’t cry at movies and I nearly cried at this. If this movie doesn’t touch you, I don’t know what movie will. Yes, this movie could be deemed somewhat unrealistic, though not impossible. If you can look past that, you’ll see this story is about the innocence of children, who were too young to fully comprehend why Jews were considered bad.

It’s about 8 year old Bruno. Bruno’s father is a Nazi officer who is sent to the country to run a concentration camp. His children are tutored in Nazi history and learn about why Jews are bad, but Bruno doesn’t get it. An explorer by nature, he wanders through the woods at the back of the house until he comes upon a fence. There he meets Shmuel. Shmuel is Jewish and is supposed to be helping the others work on one of those meaningless tasks Jews were assigned in camps. The two develop a friendship that ends up having devastating consequences.

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I’ve decided I want to finish getting my BA. So, I’ve sent in my application and sent transfer requests to all the schools I’ve attended in the past. I’ll find out 1-2 weeks after they receive my transfer information. If I get accepted I’ll be getting my diploma from one of the schools I dreamed of attending, the University of Michigan. Unfortunately, I won’t be attending the Ann Arbor campus. I will be attending the Flint campus, which is the second biggest UM campus. Either way, if I’m accepted I’ll officially be a Wolverine!

I figure if I’m going to be living in the Flint area for the next few years I might as well do something constructive with my time. Not that I do not find blogging to be constructive, because it is. I just think that it is important to show the kids in my life that it is important to attempt to finish what we start. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.

A lot of planning goes into going back to school for someone in a wheelchair or with any type of disability. I’ll be meeting with the department where I’ll be studying, to not only discuss my graduation requirements and get advice on what classes to take next, but also to discuss any type of accommodations I might need in the classroom. Everyone I’ve spoken with seems incredibly nice and willing to work with my disability.

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I don’t think I’ve ever lied about my relationship with my dad. It was tumultuous, to say the least. He and I had what I’d like to call a love-hate relationship, though at times we’d pretend it was mostly hate. I do recall saying I hated him, on more than one occasion, but a lot of it was because I felt hurt. At times, I thought he didn’t love me. Growing up changes your perspective on your parents, a lot.

My dad wasn’t the friendliest of guys. He was grumpy. He slammed the drawers on the cupboards. He swore and screamed at the television. He would get so angry he would shake. I knew how to push all his buttons and he mine. In many ways, I see how I’ve adopted some of his habits, especially yelling at the television when my team is losing and losing my cool relatively easily.

Davey, as I often called my dad, when I wasn’t calling him stupid or some other childish name, passed away eight years ago today. I have moved on and I don’t feel pain at his death, or regret about our failed relationship anymore. I’ve made my peace with my dad, and I’ve realized, he’d be more likely to accept me, as I am, then any of my other relatives, because deep down, that’s the kind of guy that he was. Sure, we’d fight, but I found, perhaps a little too late, that in the end, he had my back.

My dad and I did get along well, if we were on our own. Yes, this did happen. In fact, we spent the morning together (he took me to the doctor) the day he had the first of his four heart attacks. When he was sick, we talked on the phone every day.

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I keep hearing ‘traditional marriage’ this and ‘traditional marriage’ that. This has become a big issue. What of traditional marriage? Historians will tell you that over time marriage has changed in its traditional view. Even from Biblical times, marriage has changed. You can’t even quote the Bible without sounding hypocritical, because marriage in the Bible was far different than it is today.

That being said. I decided to compile a list of rules to follow, that dictate traditional marriage from earlier times. If you don’t fit on this list and are married…then shame on you! You are not upholding the values of traditional marriage!!!

1. Sex is for procreation, not recreation. If you are using birth control (why the heck would you need it?), already have all the kids you want, or don’t want kids at all and you are having sex, you aren’t upholding the traditional purpose of marriage…SINNER!

2. Are you married to someone outside your own race? If you are then you are breaking the traditional view on marriage. Interracial marriage wasn’t even allowed or condoned until the mid-20th century.

3. Are you a non-white person? Then you can’t be married. Tradition in America (at least) dictates that you have no rights and that includes the right to marry.

4. Did you marry for love? Men only married women for property or status originally. Companionship was, more often than not, sought with another — in many cases with a close male friend. Men understand men better, after all! If you didn’t marry for the dowry then shame on you!

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I thought a lot about the misconceptions I wrote for people with disabilities. Seeing as I am also in the midst of transitioning from Female to Male (a fact I do not hide, nor have I ever – online or off) I figured that now would be as good a time as any to talk about the misconceptions we see towards those in the trans community. Specifically, I’m looking towards those misconceptions of Transsexuals (people actually transitioning to become the opposite gender).

“You can’t be transgendered. I thought you were gay?”

How many times has someone who identifies as trans heard this? I have. You’d be surprised how many trans individuals actually, at one point, had no other term for what they were other than gay or lesbian. I, myself, am guilty of this one. Why this is has to do with sexual orientation though sexual orientation really has nothing to do with gender identity.

Trans issues are still not in the forefront in our country or really worldwide. Growing up, most people know if they are attracted to one gender or another. When I first came out, I was 16 years old. I knew for years that I was attracted to women though initially I thought it was just admiration. When the effects of puberty kicked in and I was ‘feeling it’ when I checked out hot women (like Renee O’Conner from Xena – drool!) the only word I had for what I was, was lesbian.

As I grew older, went to college and met trans individuals it finally clicked in my brain that I was trans. I had never truly felt the term lesbian fit me. I was always constantly, internally looking for answers and it took me until I was 21 to find them. You know, many don’t admit or even realize they are trans until much later in life, living in sham marriages because their families want them to be ‘normal’ or living a lesbian/gay existence.

Note: You can be trans and gay. Trans refers to gender identity (FTM, MTF, male, female) and gay is your sexual orientation. So if you identify as FTM or male and are attracted to other males then you are trans and gay. Likewise if you are MTF or female and are attracted to other females you are gay.

“You can’t be trans. You wore dresses!”

I don’t know who in their right mind thinks dresses are comfortable. Sitting in a wheelchair in one sucks majorly. Yes, I wore dresses. There isn’t a trans person who is FTM who hasn’t wore dresses to my knowledge. I even liked dresses, for one distinct reason. I knew if I wore a fancy dress, I got to be on television. I was a goodwill ambassador for a charitable organization and I also wanted to be an actor, so if it meant I got to be on television, sure I’d wear a dress.

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This weekend, we made $800. Our original goal was to try to make money for a new Hoyer lift and money towards what I’d need for my minivan lift to be put in. It’s $20,000 for the minivan lift, floor lowering, etc., so, I was pretty sure we wouldn’t get all that money. My primary goal was to make money for a Hoyer Lift.

Hoyer Lifts get people in wheelchairs in and out of bed and to their wheelchair. They are a safe way to lift a person with a physical disability. I once did unsafe transfers and that is how I fell and fractured my tibia, which created all kinds of other health problems. Now, I would be lost without my Hoyer lift.

My old Hoyer lift is manual. The pump gets stuck. The knob gets stuck, shooting me down towards the ground quickly and scarily. It’s starting to creak and groan. It’s over 5 years old, so it’s about time for a new one. The best, recommended option by my doctors is an electric Hoyer. My current insurance will not pay for the electrical part of the Hoyer. Since an electrical Hoyer is safer and the buttons won’t stick like the manual (a safety risk), we decided to hold a fundraiser to make money for the Hoyer.

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It has been a long time in the coming, but we got a van!!!

Check it out!

It’s not wheelchair accessible…YET!

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I am of the firm belief that on an individual basis, it does not matter what people think about you. You can’t spend your life worrying about what other people think about you or the way you live. So, do perceptions matter? I’ve come to realize that in some ways, they do. Sure, not on an individual, case by case basis, but in the grand scheme of things, perceptions can determine whether a group of people get fair treatment. In some ways we should give a hoot about the perceptions the world has of us.

I might not be explaining myself as clearly as I should, so let me give you an example. I am not exactly getting the point of civil disobedience in this day and age. The same people who are telling me that the world should be civilized enough to keep serial killers and pedophiles in prison (more on this later), as opposed to the death penalty, feel it is okay to go out and cause civil disobedience. I’m not sure I understand what is so civilized about this.

I can see why civil disobedience was big in the 60s. Everyone was out burning bras, chaining themselves to buildings, and causing a ruckus with the police. They were also on a lot of Acid, Weed, and other drugs. There really was no civility in the time of free love, and perhaps our nation has become more conservative and conventional, but I don’t see how civil disobedience, in this day and age, is going to make anyone’s perception of a specific group positive. In fact, because we live in a more conservative nation, I feel the perception is, more often than not, negative.

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