I considered adding “is a judgmental prick” to my title, but I decided to leave the potty language for this actual article. I know I’ve written before about various minority groups showing their own prejudices. In a prior article (which I currently cannot find – It might be on one of my other websites) I used the example of my roles in the GLBT and disability communities. I’ve met many great, open-minded GLBT folks and people with disabilities. I’ve also met some excessively judgmental assholes in both groups.
For example, GLBT folks I’ve hung around with have disregarded their friends with disabilities by leaving them behind when going to the club or having a party at someone’s non-accessible house. In my own experience, I’ve had friends who have carried me, wheelchair and all, up a flight of steps. Then I’ve had other friends leave me behind because it was too much of a hassle to take me along. I understand that being in a wheelchair creates additional challenges when “going out with a group” but it still hurts when you’re the only one in the group left behind. I’ve also seen GLBT folks talk down to people in wheelchairs or with other disabilities. It’s easy to underestimate the guy in the wheelchair.
I’ve met many a disabled person who has turned to God as their answer to getting through the rough times they associate with having a disability. I don’t mind. Believe what you believe. What I do mind is these same folks judging other minority groups because Christianity says the group is bad. C’mon folks with disabilities! Next to GLBT folks, our group is still the most discriminated against.
Adoption agencies deny both GLBT peeps and those with disabilities, who seek to adopt children. Both groups face excessive discrimination. Both have no protections in the workplace. The only difference is disabled people can get married (but how many hear the “you make a great friend but aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife material” from others, especially those not disabled?), as long as they aren’t ‘gay’, as well. Not much is different. Discrimination is discrimination, regardless of who it is directed at or why.
So, that brings me to the point of this article. Judge David Young, the latest television judge to have his own show, is a homosexual. That’s no big secret. I’d imagine he’s been discriminated against more than once in his life. I don’t care that he’s a homosexual, though I’m sure some people do. That really has little to do with the point of this article. What I’m really concerned about is how David Young, a minority in and of himself, can ask such blatantly hateful and discriminatory questions on his show. It’s just like he’s trying to feed the bigots and queen-ish or not, our society doesn’t need it.
A few days ago, Ashtyn (who has this odd obsession with Judge shows) was watching the normal lineup. I’m telling you, there is an entire block of judge shows that run from 8 or 9 am to 5 pm. Then you can switch channels to watch the 6-9 PM block. Finally, after all the nightly, Primetime shows, and the 11 o’clock news ends, Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown have even more shows. Judge show junkies dig the lineup. Judge show haters, like myself, go bonkers with so many judge show options throughout the entire day…and night.
One of Ashtyn’s least favorite judges is Judge David Young. Not exactly sure why she doesn’t like him, but I think it has to do with his trashy topics and/or guests. He’s essentially the Jenny Jones to Judge Judy’s Montel Williams. His cases aren’t what you’d expect from the average court room and she doesn’t find him overly funny, at all. So, while waiting impatiently for the next Judge, one of her favorites, Judge Joe Brown, to come on television, she just happened to have this drivel on.
For fans of judge shows, you probably already know the formula. There are cases and then, in between the cases, there are opinion poll questions that viewers can call in to cast their vote. This has become quite standard. Most of the questions are “judge-show related”, like “If your neighbors lost their house, would you let them move into yours for a while?”
For most people, the answer to that would be no. For me, it is. I barely know my neighbors, so no thanks! You could see this happening though, for close neighbors who are friendly with one another. This scenario is just a judge show waiting to happen, which is exactly why it was asked. This was, by the way, a real question on a judge show, but not on Judge David Young’s. Judge David’s show is more controversial, so that means his questions are controversial. On this particular day, I couldn’t believe the question. How could a gay man, discriminated against by many in this nation, ask such a hateful and jerkified question?
If you happened to be watching that day, you could call in and answer the question, “Are People with Physical Disabilities capable of being Good Parents?”
Note the question specifically asks about PHYSICAL disabilities. This means folks that can’t walk and/or stand (or maybe they just have a limp but no other problems) who have full control of their mental facilities and functioning. We’re talking the people who are often very smart and capable in many aspects of their life, excluding the ones dealing with getting around, physically.
When Ash sent me this question over IM (as not to shout at me from the living room) at first, I was appalled. Who would ask such a question or make such an assumption? I knew nothing about Judge David Young. I didn’t even knew he had a show. When I heard he was gay, I was more furious than before. How could a minority in any form, ask such a derogatory, discriminatory question? Seriously, why even QUESTION this?
I wonder if he’d put, “Are People that are Gay capable of being Good Parents?” on his show. I’m guessing probably not because it’s discriminatory and hateful. The mere question, brings up hateful and discriminatory thoughts, because it brings another question to the table, “Well, is it true?” Whether he agrees with the initial question about people with disabilities or not, is should never have been asked.
This is just another example of minority group hate on hate. If a minority group can discriminate against another minority group then what do you think the majority is going to do? We bemoan about how we’re discriminated and then we go and do the same thing to another group. It’s like this guy I went to camp with and college, for years. He moans about how pathetic his life is and how no girl will ever give him a chance because he’s in a wheelchair, yet he had the nerve to tell me I was sick, a loser, and pathetic because I’m transgender. I was nice enough not to rub in the fact that I have a girlfriend (an AB one at that), despite being transgender and in a wheelchair, because I don’t believe in perpetuating hate and discrimination. Fighting like this only separates minority groups even more.
All minority groups would benefit by teaming up and trying to defeat discrimination together. We all have at least two things in common regardless of our minority status. We’re discriminated against by the majority and we know what it is like to be treated like we’re different. In the minority, we need to work together to fight the majority and start educating them about people who are different. We don’t need to discriminate against one another. If we can’t even work together then we can’t work apart. We’re fighting a losing battle.
So, you may not get why I found Judge David Young’s question to be so discriminatory. Let me explain for those who don’t get it. NOTHING, but your ability to love and take care of a child, physically (monetarily), emotionally and mentally can determine whether you are a good parent or not. If you have the best interest of your child at heart and the means to raise them your ability or lack thereof, to move physically, whether you are gay, transgender, male, female, black, while, straight, or a part of any religion or cultural group should have NO bearing on your ability to parent.
There is help out there for parents who can’t always lift their child on their own, and devices have been created to make parenting with a physical disability easier. It isn’t impossible. In fact, it’s incredibly rewarding, and your child grows up being more compassionate and understanding in 9 out of 10 cases. I know MANY disabled parents, including myself, and all of us are BEYOND capable of doing our job as parents. I know able bodied (AB) parents who aren’t as good at parenting as some of the folks I know in wheelchairs who parent.
By the same token, some of the wheelers I know should never be given the chance to breed/adopt a child. Just like ABs and GLBT individuals, not all disabled people WILL make good parents. Heck, I know plenty of people from all walks of life who should refrain from breeding. We don’t need more stupid, poorly raised children in the world. It’s more the individual who dictates their ability to parent, not their ability to walk, stand or move their arms. It’s a stupid and inappropriate question that’s just going to breed more hate and lack of understanding.
For a gay man, you think Judge David Young would have more tact, but evidently he enjoys being tasteless.
So, what do you think of Judge David’s question? Is he as big an ass as I believe he is or is he justified in asking if those of us in wheelchairs know how to parent?