After the sensationalistic, media circus surrounding Thomas Beatie and his 20/20 interview, which revealed he’s pregnant again, I felt compelled to write Barbara Walters a letter. While this is not the formal letter I sent to her (though I mention many of the same things I wrote to her, in this letter), this sums up all of the thoughts I have about Thomas Beatie and his pregnancy, while discussing how he is exploiting not only the transgendered community, but also his children and his pregnancies.

This is an expanded version of what I told Barbara.

Dear Barbara Walters,

After watching part of your interview with the self-proclaimed “pregnant man” Thomas Beatie, I felt compelled to write you. While I am a firm believer in making your own destiny and finding your own happiness, I cannot sit back and watch this man make a mockery of the transgendered community. I cannot sit back and watch him exploit his children for money. I cannot sit back while my transgendered friends and myself have to endure ridicule and face misunderstanding because the general populace is lumping all transgendered people together with him.

I am 27 years old. I came out at age 16, thinking I had to be gay. Though the word lesbian didn’t seem to fit me, it’s the only word I knew to explain my attraction to girls. At age 22, I watched a documentary that changed my life, Southern Comfort. This was a documentary about a transgendered man named Robert, who died of cancer because the hospitals wouldn’t treat a transgendered man. For the first time, I had a word to describe all of those feelings I’d felt for so many years. I realized I was transgendered. For the first time, I felt complete and at peace.

It was then that I took the name Dominick. It was a name I’d used online for a year or so and it meant something to me (I’m pretty sure I used it in a past life). I sat down with my girlfriend, Ashtyn and explained I was transgendered. Coming out to her and finding her unwaveringly supportive meant the world to me. This moment, discovering I was transgendered, changed my life for the better.

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I’m not the type to complain much about my disability. I rarely feel sorry for myself for being in a wheelchair. It’s pretty much natural to me. I’ve accepted that and there is nothing that is going to change it until a cure for Spinal Muscular Atrophy is found. I have the motto, why worry.

I know many people get depressed about being in a wheelchair, but I’m not one of them. I mean, sure it sucks, but its like my late father, David Lawniczak used to say. There is no use in crying over spilt milk. I guess I can see how being in a wheelchair can be depressive to some people and frustrating when you want to move, but can’t do it without help. Still this is one of the few things I’ve actually accepted about my life. So, it’s one of the few things I don’t complain about.

What I do complain about is pain. I hate pain. I am pretty sure most people with SMA experience pain a lot different than the average person. I can just bump into something and have it feel like I’m being stabbed. I admit it. I’m a baby about it. Well, pain is why I’m writing this blog. If there is just ONE thing that I could mention that sucks about being in a wheelchair it is experiencing pain.

I’m on a regular regime of pain medication. Tylenol 4 with codeine is my friend. It takes away the pain in my back and my legs most of the time, but rarely touches pain in my hip. If I could trade being in a wheelchair forever for not having pain ever, I’d stay in the wheelchair. It’s not so bad if there is no pain, but when it hurts I just want to cry.

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So, first Thomas Beatie had to go and have one child and now he’s having another. The issue I have with this is the backlash this is going to have on the transgendered community. Let me go back a bit, to explain this to those who might not know who Thomas Beatie is and why he has the ability to affect an entire community of individuals.

Thomas Beatie is someone who has taken the steps to legally change their name, physiological body characteristics and nearly everything but their female reproductive organs and vagina to reflect the fact that this person is, in their words, male. Thomas Beattie is said to be transgendered, identifying as male. Essentially, Thomas Beatie is supposed to be just like me (born bio female, but taking/took steps to legally become and live as male). However, Thomas Beatie isn’t like me. Thomas Beatie has reversed the “becoming a male” process, in order to utilize his female reproductive organs and have not one, but two children.

I know this sounds confusing because it is. It’s confusing to many of us who are transgendered, too. First, let me explain that some people believe they are between genders. Some people don’t believe in the gender binary system. These people aren’t trying to make a spectacle, nor are they claiming to be something they aren’t. That’s one of the reasons why I have such a problem with Thomas Beatie. If he wants to look like a guy, with a beard, but still have kids, that’s fine, but don’t say you’re a male, because men don’t have kids through their own bodies. They just don’t. Those of us who are FTM (and identify as either transgendered or male) and are legally becoming male nearly all agree on this point. Many of us also agree that Thomas Beatie has the potential to do IRREPARABLE harm to our community and the potential for acceptance and equality.

See, this is what it boils down to. People are entitled to be happy and live their lives the way they see fit and/or be who they are as long as that doesn’t affect others negatively. The transgendered community has long made strides towards acceptance and equality. Slowly but surely, we’ve been getting there. People have been learning to accept us. It’s a slow and grueling, painstaking process. People are able to get the concept of what being transgendered is and means, but Thomas Beatie has bounced back and forth between the process, to the point where the average person simply cannot comprehend who or what he/she is.

I don’t have to tell you that acceptance is the first step and equality comes thereafter. Without acceptance there can be no equality. I want to be treated equally. I want the same equal rights and protections as other Americans, but the possibility of such equality and such protections is tipping in the balance thanks to Beatie and his confusing decisions. I don’t want this to tip in the wrong direction, because that truly means we’re taking strides back…not forward.

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I was tagged by Leah Dossey of Creative Wisdom from Blue Leaf Creative. The point is to link up with other bloggers and have them link up with you. The rules are pretty simple from what I am to understand.

Step #1 - Link to the person who tagged you. I already linked to Leah and her blog in the first sentence I wrote, but I’ll happily do it again, right here.

Step #2 - Write Five Fun/Interesting Facts about yourself. This gives fellow bloggers (and your readership) a chance to actually get to know you better.

Step #3 - Tag Six Other People and link to their blogs. Then let them know you’ve tagged them by twittering them or leaving a comment on their blog.

The process repeats and people get links and forge new friendships, all while learning about one another!

Sounds pretty easy right?

Five Fun Facts about Dominick Evans

1. When Changing My Name, I had a hard time settling on Middle Names: The only thing about my birth name that I kept the same was the fact that I had two middle names. Getting the exact and right combination for my two “new” middle names was hard. I tried several versions of the two names, before I finally settled on Matthaios Antony.

2. I have crooked pinkies. A genetic mutation in my family that skips certain generations gave me crooked pinkies. Mine stick out almost at a 45 degree angle mid-pinky. My maternal grandmother has crooked pinkies, too, but mine are by far the most crooked and distinctive in our family. People has “assumed” this was caused by my muscle disease, but this actually has nothing to do with my SMA at all. I believe it might just be a recessive trait.

3. My dream college is the University of Michigan. I always wanted to go to the U of M. I even visited the campus when I was in high school. However, coming from a relatively poor household and knowing the state of Ohio would only pay for me to go to college in my home state (since Ohio has a wheelchair accessible school - Wright State), I had to push that dream out of my mind. Well, now that I live in Michigan, I might just get to finish up my degree at my dream school.

4. I’m obsessed with fast wheelchairs. I get really upset at the prospect of having to get a slow wheelchair. I admit I have a bit of a speed problem when it comes to choosing a wheelchair. When nobody is around me, I like to let loose and fly with the wind. I might just be a biker if I could walk, after all. Seriously though. I love to go fast and can’t stand the fact that insurance usually likes to pay for slow chairs. Luckily, my wheelchair guy knows I’m a speed-a-holic and hooks me up!

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This month, we elected the first non-Caucasian president in the history of the United States. On the same night, four different states passed laws against GLBT individuals. In Arizona and Florida, those states defined marriage as being between one man and one woman thus banning GLBT individuals from being able to exercise the right to marry.

In Arkansas, all unmarried couples (especially GLBT couples) were henceforth banned from adopting children or becoming foster parents. With over 3% of the millions of foster children in the United States living in same sex households, you have to imagine some kids just lost what they believed might become their forever homes.

In the saddest, and most depressing loss of the night, California passed Proposition 8. This is the first time in history, a group of people have had a right given to them by the courts only to have it taken away. If anything is truly unconstitutional, it’s this, because this is the first time people have truly lost a right they once retained. First, we all need to agree that marriage truly is a right. I’ll get into why I believe it is a right a little later in this post.

Many people think that the courts have no right determining what is unconstitutional and what isn’t, but that is exactly why the courts are there. The judicial branch of the government was established because certain minority groups would be denied certain rights by the majority. The minority had to have some protection. In years past, we’ve seen many minority groups be served up similar “unconstitutional” bans on freedom, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The only protection these groups had was through the judicial system who overturned such unconstitutional laws and made it so these groups were given the same rights.

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Midway through election night, I had the distinct honor of joining a great group of people; new friends and Obama supporters. Keith Burtis, an artist on my Twitter, invited those on his list to a live blog, chatting event at the Yes but No but Yes web blog. Since I was spending a quiet evening with my family, between the computer (checking election results) and CNN, I thought it’d be a great way to meet new people.

The group of people at the live blog event were amazing folks. I’m truly glad I had the chance to meet them. We celebrated Obama’s victory, listened to McCain speak, and heard Obama’s message of hope and change, together. I had never thought I could feel so speechless concerning a presidential victory, but the election of Obama was surreal. I was not initially for Obama (Clinton supporter here), but I came to respect him and feel like I’ve been a part of something big. I’ve been a part of a historic event that my children’s children can only imagine as they read about this momentous victory in the history books.

This is what I shared with this group, and afterward, I was posed with a question by Keith. It was more of a challenge, and I’m taking it head on.

Keith asked some of us who were at the live blogging event to, ‘write on why we should look at life as one, rather than life as fragments scattered across the universe.‘

That’s what Obama spoke of when he mentioned people of all colors, all abilities, differing sexual orientations and his speech truly was all inclusive. As a transgendered man in a wheelchair, I’ve never felt so included in a political speech. I’ve never felt like a politician was truly talking to me, truly reaching out to me to ask for my assistance in building a new and better world.

So, to Keith and everyone out there, I would like to say that unity is the key to true equality and freedom. Unity is the key to building a better world. In our lives, we have so many labels. They label us by gender and biological sex. They label us by color. They label us by who we fall in love with, our religion, our political affiliation, our economic status, our ethnicity, our age, our experience, and everything else you can think of. We all have to fit in “neat little classification boxes” that describe who we are and what our assumed purpose is in life.

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We celebrated Halloween on Friday and Saturday. CT is 13, so this is the first year he didn’t go out trick or treating. On Friday night, he stood in the doorway of my bedroom and said, “I guess trick or treating is over.”

I said to him, “Yes, CT. It ended about three hours ago.”

To which he replied, “I meant for me. Forever. Trick or treating is over for me forever.”

He was so forlorn, so I told him being older meant he might get to go to fun Halloween parties and when he’s older he still might dress up. This made him feel better.

I can’t believe I spent nearly two days completely offline. I feel out of it and sluggish towards getting back into the groove of things. CT watched horror movies for the first time. He always thought he’d be afraid (his mom is a huge horror buff), but he thought they were fun when he finally sat down and watched some of them with us.

We watched Pet Semetary, Pet Semetary II, Halloween 4, Halloween 5, Child’s Play, and then we watched some movies we had to review, Tinker Bell and Get Smart. Of course, it wasn’t Halloween without watching It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! I’m pretty sure CT knows the whole movie by heart.

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In the last few days, I’ve been reading over a few different homeschooling blogs. I’ve noticed that many people homeschooling list the books they use to teach their children. We aren’t homoschooling due to our religious beliefs. We’re homeschooling to provide a higher quality education for our son.

I’ve found that many parents who are doing secular homeschooling have limited resources, so I thought I’d share what we use to homeschool CT (Cool Teen - his online moniker). Here is a list of the classes he’s taking and the books he’s using this year.

For reference, CT turns 14 on November 5. He’s in 8th Grade.

History/Social Studies - American History
Book Used: The Americans - McDougal Littell
The Americans Workbook - Used Sporadically
The Presidential Elections Handbook
Online - The Americans Book Activities @ Classzone

Movies: The Adams Chronicles
Gods and Generals
Schoolhouse Rock: Election Edition
Gettysburg
Hilter: The Last Ten Days

Science - Life Science
Middle School Life Science - McDougal Littell
Problem Solving and Critical Thinking, Workbook Grade 8
Standard Test Practice Workbook Grade 8
Online - Life Science Book Activities @ Classzone

Movies: Evolution: Darwin’s Dangerous Idea
Wolves (Blu-Ray)
Bears (Blu-Ray)
Planet Earth
The Blue Planet

Math - Algebra
Algebra I - McDougal Littell
Algebra I Workbook
Benchmark Tests for Algebra I
Algebra Manipulative Kit
Online - Algebra I Book Activities @ Classzone

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Burton, Michigan – October 29, 2008: Muscular Dystrophy Patients United is announcing its second annual Winter Holidays Adoption Program. This program is specifically for families who have children with Muscular Dystrophy. Last year, MDP United was able to assist three families and this year the organization hopes to help between five and ten. MDP United has found low income, struggling families with children who have Muscular Dystrophy. With soaring medical costs and extended needs that go beyond the care of the average child, many of these families just don’t have the extra money to provide their children with an amazing holiday.

This year, MDP United will be listing between 5-10 families on their website in the coming weeks. Volunteers can adopt a family to help provide the family with presents. Each child in the family will have a wish list, of what they want for the winter holiday they celebrate this year. With the cost of living so high for everyone, families with disabled children are truly struggling and assistance during the holiday season is especially important.

While the child with the disability is the only required adoptee, siblings will also have their wish lists posted. MDP United would love for multiple volunteers to adopt one family, so that each child in the family gets the wish they truly want this year. Additionally, parents will be given the option of listing 2-3 stores where they would like gift cards, to help purchase more presents or necessities for themselves and their children this holiday season.

If you would like to volunteer and adopt a family, please email Dominick. Also, you can check back regularly to find a list of our wish children, who you can adopt this year. As always, you can donate money to MDP United through Paypal and the organization can purchase the presents for you. A list of volunteers will be displayed on our main homepage, in thanks for their donations.

About MDP United:
Muscular Dystrophy Patients United (MDP United) was founded by Dominick Evans who has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. As a former ambassador for another MD organization and a patient dealing with every day disability issues, Dominick understands exactly what individuals with Muscular Dystrophy go through on a daily basis. The other organizations, while they are able to help in their own way, do not provide all of the services those with Muscular Dystrophy need to live healthy, happy, and productive lives.

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I’m going to start podcasting here at DominickEvans.com. It’s about time I actually expressed my thoughts and opinions in a more productive way. I believe podcasting will be an excellent outlet. I am very excited about this new endeavor and I hope you all will join me for the ride.

I plan to podcast on both politics and religion. I had considered podcasting on sports, but I feel that I’m more passionate about the topics of politics and religion in a broader sense. Besides…I might make a few people mad if all I do is podcast about how much I love the U of M Wolverines!

When it comes to politics, I plan to express my thoughts as an educated individual with a plethora of political science knowledge under my belt. I minored in Political Science my first go around at college, prior to having to drop out my senior year, due to a tibial fracture. I have the knowledge and debates led by Profs. December Green, Liam Anderson, and Laura Luehrmann to thank for all of my political knowledge.

Prof. Green taught me a lot about international politics, especially those in relation to human rights throughout Africa and the world. I highly recommend taking a class with her if you ever go to school in Dayton. Prof. Anderson also taught about International Politics and he taught me about the horrors of genocide and what role politics play in policing the world. Then there is Professor Luehrmann, who was an incredibly hard, but fair teacher. Her Modern Political Ideologies class taught me about socialism, Marxist thought, fascism and many other concepts I often discuss with others.

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