I figure if I’m going to be living in the Flint area for the next few years I might as well do something constructive with my time. Not that I do not find blogging to be constructive, because it is. I just think that it is important to show the kids in my life that it is important to attempt to finish what we start. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.

A lot of planning goes into going back to school for someone in a wheelchair or with any type of disability. I’ll be meeting with the department where I’ll be studying, to not only discuss my graduation requirements and get advice on what classes to take next, but also to discuss any type of accommodations I might need in the classroom. Everyone I’ve spoken with seems incredibly nice and willing to work with my disability.

One nice thing is how supportive U of M is toward transgendered students. That should not be an issue either. I should be able to use whatever name I want thanks to their system that protects transgendered students who haven’t been able to change their name legally. Since I’m not sure my name change will be legally finished by September (it will be very close to being complete by then) I’m very happy to know I don’t have to start class with so many questions from teachers and peers, thanks to being able to use Dominick for everything I need at school.

I will need to meet with Accessibility Services to make sure I get testing accommodations, a writer, and a note taker. Writing has become something that is very painful for me, so if I have help writing it will ensure I can take tests in a timely manner. I also have a lot of trouble maneuvering a keyboard while in my wheelchair (something I’m definitely working on), so typing wouldn’t be a suitable option, either. I will also need to find out if there are other accommodations I’ll need.

I also need to meet with Admissions to discuss my name change and getting everything listed in the name Dominick. I’m trying to coordinate a time when I can meet with all of them at the same time. Add in the fact that I need to meet with MRS and the next few weeks will be very busy for me.

MRS is Michigan Rehabilitation Services, which is other states’ equivalent to BVR. I need to find out about MRS paying for college and hopefully they will also pay to make my new van wheelchair accessible. That is one thing they typically do, so here’s hoping. Eventually, I hope to go back to MRS to learn to drive. I wouldn’t be able to drive with a small wheel the way I did before, but due to my muscle progression, a joystick would be the ideal driving aid. I use one to drive my wheelchair, so I’m well aware of a joystick’s sensitivities. I one day, truly hope to learn how to drive on my own. To me, that will be an amazing achievement.

I still have a lot of work to do, in Physical Therapy, but at least, I truly feel that I’m finally making strides in the right direction.

Technorati Tags: school, MRS, Michigan Rehabilitation Services, College, University of Michigan, Flint, transgendered, back to school

When I first started acting, I could do no wrong. I was good and I knew it. Perhaps that let me get a little too big for my britches, making any possible rejection that much harder. Truth be told, early on, I wasn’t rejected all that much. By the time I was a teenager, it wasn’t my acting that was carrying me through. It was my singing. I’ll admit, as good as I was at acting (and at one point, I was good), I was twice as good as a singer, but I didn’t want to sing. I hated it.

I won’t get into too many details, but there was some familial pressure, especially with singing. The more I was pushed, the more I rejected my singing and turned into my acting. The more I wanted to act, the less sure of myself I became. The less confident I was, the more scared I was to get out there and audition. Eventually, it got to the point where I was nearly sabotaging myself.

By the time I had moved from Bowling Green, a school where I flourished as an actor, I had become quite introverted in many respects. I wanted people to understand me, so I spent more time explaining myself than doing anything to prove I was capable of being good at anything. The few times I reached out to others, as an actor, I felt I was being rejected, so I just turned so far into myself that I lost all sense of my abilities and what I was capable of, as a performer. I deliberately avoided auditions, for fear of rejection, my already somewhat unstable life incapable of handling yet another rejection.

In truth, I was scared. Instead of reaching out to those I knew would help me, as an artist, I hid behind the veneer of my past. I was good. I knew I was good, so I spent every waking moment telling people I was good. This gave me time to explore singing without pressure.

Nobody was forcing me to sing anymore, so I was able to enjoy myself. Where my acting had once stood out, my singing was strides above that. By the time I was comfortable with my singing voice, I was so uncomfortable as an actor, I hid in my dorm room, reading over monologues and constantly beating myself up.

I flubbed up monologues I had performed for years, and made myself look like an ass on more than one occasion. My life was spiraling out of control in every which way. I just couldn’t handle it, as I began to lose my grip on my life and my potential.

You know, getting seriously hurt and cutting out all those negative forces in your life really gives you a lot of time to think with a clear head. With the help of my girlfriend, Ashtyn, I was able to get my life straightened out. She really gave me endless support to make my own decisions and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Being laid up in bed for nearly two years is a very humbling experience, and it gave me a lot of time to think.

These are the conclusions I came to after many long, pain-filled days (I did fracture my leg and had other health problems – so I’m talking physical pain):

#1 – If anyone forces me into anything, it ruins the fun for me. I have to want to do what I want to do. Nobody can dictate my path creatively, but me. Once I really began to think about what path I wanted to travel, I truly began to understand where I wanted to go.

#2 – I like telling people what to do. I took this course at Wright State with a professor named Joe Deer. It was all about directing. It was geared towards theatre, but I loved it. For once, I really felt in my element. The idea of writing and directing my own screenplays truly appeals to me. Besides, if I really wanted to act, couldn’t I just write myself in and cast myself? Really, it’s a win-win situation.

#3 – I found myself spiritually. I love what I’ve discovered about myself and the world. I’d like to explore the topic more in depth, especially that of Classic Antiquity. I’d also like to make films inspired by the time period in which my beliefs mostly stem. That is part of why I’ve decided to explore a double major in film and classics. I can benefit myself and my potential career, all at the same time.

While I haven’t completely given up acting, I haven’t been actively pursuing performing. I figure that acting, while I do miss it occasionally, will fall in place as I pursue what I really want to do with my life. In the meantime, I’m busy having fun as a reviewer/critic and with social media. In all truth, it doesn’t hurt to have a backup plan!

Technorati Tags: acting, quit, performance. performer, life, out of control