I met Erin on Twitter a few years ago. She is known as @QueenofSpain. I liked her name instantly. A little known fact about me is that at four years old, I apparently declared myself the reincarnation of the Queen of Spain in response to my parent asking “Who do you think you are, the queen?” I had no idea then where Spain was. It was one of those eerie little kid talking about places and people they have no knowledge of kind of moments as I knew names, places, and a wealth of information about a former Queen of Spain. Regardless, I felt an immediate kinship to Erin because of this, whether she knew it or not.

After meeting on Twitter we connected on Facebook. We chatted occasionally. I had no idea she had Lupus. I learned her husband worked on films and I am studying Motion Pictures. I learned she was a reporter and she had children, one who was struggling with a potential “invisible” disability. I have a son with Aspergers, Bi Polar, and ADHD, so I could relate. I saw her many, liberal rants about politics. We share many of the same views.

As I got to know Erin I realized we shared a lot of the same beliefs – about family, a love for Detroit sports, and a rich Polish heritage. We grew up only an hour apart with long Polish last names. I am a bit younger than her, but not by much. I also learned we shared many of the same struggles. I have watched as Erin has come to need a wheelchair and understood her as I had been there myself, a decade earlier. I have read about her struggles with healthcare and having to get assistance. I have felt the political struggles she has fought online personally as we have often come from the same place, both having “disabilities” if you will, which allow for insurance and governmental abuse.

Erin struggles every day because of Lupus. Her children have had to sit by and watch her go in and out of the hospital. They have experienced so much and yet they seem to be very well adjusted, happy, caring children. In spite of her struggles with Lupus, Erin and her husband, Aaron, have raised their kids to be unique individuals. They have raised them to care about their family, but also strangers on the street. Erin has raised these children not to see themselves as better than others, but as compassionate human beings. I am proud to know Erin because of this. There are not enough kids being raised to think for themselves, to be strong and independent, but also to love their fellow (wo)man. It makes me worried for our future, with so many self-serving children being raised to believe they are better and deserve better than others.

I commend Erin for resisting the status quo. It’s hard, in a world where conforming seems the easy route, to allow our kids the freedom to be as “weird” [sic] as our kids can be. We do not want them to hurt. We want them to be able to fit in. We want them to have friends. We want them to be able to hide their differences so they are not teased for them. Erin, instead, is teaching her children to embrace their differences. She has a son with OCD and Tourettes and yet she feeds his interests in the solar system and Stephen Hawking. Her daughter has a crazy style of dressing that might not always match in conventional ways, and yet Erin encourages her to dress how she feels, often allowing her to express herself in adorably vibrant ways. These are happy children living in a time when not many children can truly experience happiness.

The reason Erin has succeeded at raising such great kids is because she herself is an ardent supporter of the people. She fights for the rights of those with disabilities and illnesses, the GLBT community, children, women, and other minorities. She supports free speech and free thought. She is not afraid to speak her mind and put bigots in their place. I read her well-thought-out rants on politics and it gets me fired up. It demands my own response. Erin experiences our joy with us and cries with us at the sadness we have endured as minorities. She truly cares, in a world where not many do anymore.

So…let it be said that I do not admire Erin because of Lupus, but in spite of Lupus. In spite of Lupus she is still living her life as a fighter for the people, as a fighter for her kids, and in the process is still fighting for herself.

To learn about Erin Kotecki Vest visit her website at: http://queenofspainblog.com/

Technorati Tags: Erin Kotecki Vest, Queen of Spain, Blog, Lupus, Admire, Blogger, politics, liberal, fighter, human rights

The article in question is on Danny Brown’s blog right here. It’s a lovely post and Danny Brown is an equally lovely person. I agree, on the basic principle of what he is saying, but I also must keep in mind that this blog (Dominick Evans Online) is about equality and activism. Therefore, I must point out instances where people are acting uncivilly or unfairly to those who fit into certain minority groups and hold them to the same standards I would all other people.

For example, the GLBT bashers who claim those of us within the GLBT communities do not need to receive fair or equal treatment as human beings, are often being criticized for their words/actions on this blog. Yes, I know these people also have families, but I also know they must be called out on what they say, so in this instance, I must implore that while remembering, “Everyone is someone’s child…” we also remember that their parents should have taught them about responsibility for their own actions and words. As much as they deserve the right to free speech, even if it is not in favor of equality, I deserve the right to call them out on what they say or do, holding them responsible for their words/actions and expressing how their views are not cohesive with maintaining the rights of other people.

Another great example is Kentucky senator-elect, Rand Paul. Paul has expressed his desire in repealing the ADA (the Americans with Disabilities Act). The ADA, while not perfect was the stepping stone the disability community needed and STILL needs as we fight for equal and fair treatment in public, as well as in the business sector and/or workplace. Contrary to popular belief, PWDs (persons with disabilities) still have a LONG road to true freedom and equality in the U.S. Repealing the ADA would be a TRAGIC, misguided step back. It has taken the disability community years of fighting to even get the ADA passed, and Rand Paul’s comments about its unfairness to employers who have to accommodate employees with disabilities (which was also technically wrong since he obviously does not understand ADA law) sets the precedence that PWDs deserve to have less access to jobs and buildings where potential jobs might be hosted.

With over 80% of PWDs unemployed in the U.S. alone, the largest minority group in the world deserves better, and I do not believe calling Rand Paul out on this is against the standards we as bloggers need to set for ourselves and our blogs. Yes, I know that Rand Paul is someone’s son. He is the son of Ron Paul, for starters, but Ron must also have taught him that what he says in public has the potential to be scrutinized. Therefore, if he does not want what he says up for public debate, he should keep it out of the public forum. Rand must be called out on this issue, because, it is not right for PWDs to be denied access, in what few areas we actual have it.

Am I going to say Rand Paul is a disguising sloth though? No, because it defeats my point, whether I believe it or not (honestly I care so little for Paul, I do not even really think about him as much more than another politician – sloth was just for example’s sake). It lowers me to HIS level and makes me look bad, ensuring that what I say is less valid. People see me as just another whiny PWD who has to call names in order to get my point across. The real issue should be focused on what Paul said and claims he wants to do to limit the freedoms on PWDs and not a stupid name I might call him, in the heat of the moment. Of course, if I were to call him a sloth or any other name, my argument loses all validity and I look petty, as I, too, am responsible for my words.

Essentially, the point I am making is this. Yes, we need to realize that those we criticize are people, too. Therefore, we must use the same decorum we hope is used when we ourselves are criticized. Being professional is the key. Avoiding name calling helps. I understand what it is like, in the heat of the moment, when you are all flared up about a topic you find passionate, but sometimes it is best to take a few steps back and make sure that passion is controlled and tunneled in the right way and for the right reasons.

I admit I have said things in anger fueled by passion, but as a blogger, I vow to attempt to keep those passions fueled in a more productive way. As much as I plan to hold those critical to the causes I support accountable for their words and actions, I also vow to hold myself accountable. I, as a blogger, must be as critical of myself and my own actions, in order to get my message across and hopefully change the thoughts and perceptions on those who read what I have to say. Otherwise, I am no better than those I am critical of and no more willing to view them as a person than they are me.

Technorati Tags: people, equality, passions, flared, responsibility, activism, personal responsibility, higher standard

That has made me realize that I’m not exactly 100% happy with the direction this site was heading in. Sure, I like writing about my opinions. I love to share my journey as a transgendered person and discuss my views on disability rights. I enjoy sharing pictures and moments from my life. But…I want to take things a step further.

I’d like to discuss the types of projects I’m getting involved in. I am going to school for acting/performance. I want to discuss hot button issues, but do it through videos. I’d like to take you on my journey as I go back to school after six years out. That’s why I’m planning to be more proactive, and that’s why I’ve completely changed the layout for Dominick Evans Online.

I hope you enjoy the changes to this site and that you’ll keep reading as I explore new avenues through this site.

Technorati Tags: Dominick Evans, Online, Videos, Interactive, Redesign, Website

Just looking over Chris’ blog makes me realize all I’m missing out on by not being focused. Sure, I have other obstacles standing in my way, but maybe if I was a little more focused, some of those would disappear.

For instance, I’d been planning to meet up with Chris when he came to Detroit last week, but I had no transportation to the city, so not only did I have to let Chris down, I let myself down. I can’t help but think, maybe if I’d been a little more focused, I’d have had the extra cash to rent an accessible van. I can’t guarantee that would have happened, but right now, I do have to what if.

Chris Brogan once gave me the best compliment I’ve received as a blogger. He said I had potential. Coming from a man as successful as Chris, it was an honor. To have him think I have potential is a big thing, but I have to wonder if perhaps, in the time since he has said that, if I’ve let illness, laziness, and other things squander away that potential. I haven’t meant to, and even as I sit here, my arms bone tired, barely able to reach the right keys to type due to a very long day up and about, I have to believe there is more I can do…more I can offer the readers of my blogs.

So, I’m going to be trying, in the coming months to hone in on my potential. I don’t want to let Chris or anyone else down. I most especially don’t want to let my readers down. Of course, I have to ask you the same question. Is there potential to do something spectacular in your life, within you, that you are squandering away without a second thought? Is there a way you can tap into this potential? I know that all of you who read this have the ability to be spectacular, or as Chris Brogan says, ‘to be rockstars!’

My question is, don’t you think we should get focused? Isn’t it time to turn our lives around and stop missing out on the opportunities we’d love to experience? I’m ready to go back to living life. I hope you are with me. That way we won’t have to take this journey alone! Let me know your thoughts on this by leaving a comment.

Technorati Tags: Chris Brogan, get focused, focus, better, blogger, Darren Rowse, Problogger, rockstar, potential, slacker

The movie Quid Pro Quo was one I had to review. I was interested in the movie because it was supposed to be about a paralyzed reporter who gets involved with an underground group of BIID sufferers, while investigating a story. I should warn you that this contains spoilers, so if you want to see this movie, you probably shouldn’t continue reading this.

The entire movie, I felt this tightness in my chest. It was if every fiber of my being was screaming how wrong this was. Vera Farmiga’s entire performance creeped me out. I’m not even sure I can watch The Departed again without seeing her in this freaky light. Her character is obsessed with becoming paralyzed, and she has this crazy fetish for braces, wheelchairs, and having sex with a paralyzed guy, without taking him out of his chair.

The entire emphasis is on the fact that people want to be paralyzed or disabled due to psychological events that happen in their lives, and for many, this is a sexual thing, a fetish. Sure, those with BIID say that isn’t the way that it is, but then they go and post how putting on diapers makes their willies happy. Many of them get their jollies from “pretending” and the wannabes are as bad about this as the pretenders are.

All of the stories I’ve read about those who claim to have BIID talk about sad, pathetic childhoods or overbearing parents, abusive parents, abusive priests or psychologists, and the list goes on. In essence, it is as if these people feel inadequate due to events in their life, so they associate it with being in a wheelchair, being paralyzed, or amputating a limb.

In a 60 Minutes expose on the subject, many of those who amputated, felt remorse. They changed their tunes after amputation, when it was too little, too late. The persistent feeling of wanting to be disabled didn’t disipate nor did their life become magically better. For some, they became even more depressed, now truly understanding what being disabled meant. Don’t I have a right to be offended by this, because I didn’t have a choice in the matter of becoming disabled, yet people think its cool or a fad?

The most disappointing aspect of Quid Pro Quo is the fact the paralyzed man who serves as the protagonist isn’t really paralyzed. Sure, he didn’t know he was only kidding himself, but this is utterly unrealistic. Some doctor would have caught this and it kind of put a damper on the entire tone of the movie. While the BIID sufferers were psychotic in their desire to make themselves “disabled”, many of them weren’t willing to take the final step and become disabled, even if they had the means and opportunity to do so. The paralyzed reporter’s miraculous recovery is a little too rainbows and sunshine for me. Perhaps, a movie that truly explores paralysis and the normalcy those of us with disabilities can have in our lives, will one day be produced.

Either way, the only good this movie does is emphasize the psychological problems those with BIID face, and opens up the discussion for why this should even be considered a logical medical condition and not a neurosis, fetish or aspect of perspective mental illness. Treatment should involve medication and behavioral modification, not hacking off limbs or making someone paralyzed with medication.

Technorati Tags: Quid Pro Quo, BIID, psychological, messed up, condition, Body Integrity Identity Disorder, movie, disability, wheelchair, paralyzed

Become an IMDB News Desk Publisher

What IMDB isn’t always good for is using it to promote yourself or your business. Unless you know how to promote yourself the right away. First, you have to make sure you’re not spamming IMDB. This is an important rule because you want IMDB to work for you, not against you. You also don’t want to get band, because then you can’t use IMDB at all!

Depending on your website, you may actually be featured on IMDB. If your website covers film news, reviews, and more, and it is consistently updated, IMDB may approve you to become part of their “news desk” team. If you write about a specific movie or actor, then everyone browsing IMDB will have access to your movie review on that movie or actor’s page.

You can sign up to become a news desk publisher by clicking here. You must be a registered user of IMDB before you can try and submit your information. This doesn’t have to be your only way of getting your website out there.

Using your IMDB Profile Signature

You can put your website in your profile/forum signature. I’ve had as many as three websites listed. I don’t recommend any more than that. Your actual signature can only hold one or two urls at the most (it has a character limit), but you can edit your signature on individual posts. I generally list li-reviews.com and li-kids.com. However, when I was posting on the Rory O’Shea was Here forum, a movie about Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, I also included links to the page for the non-profit organization I’m trying to start, Muscular Dystrophy Patients United. If your website is relevant to the topic, I don’t see someone calling you out as a spammer for posting your URL.

Making your Link Relevant

When I do reviews of certain movies or television shows, I’ll sometimes post the link to my review on that particular movie’s forum. If there is a topic about a DVD coming out, especially ones that asks about the quality of the new DVD, if I’ve done a review of it  I’ll say something to the effect of:

“I just reviewed this DVD at LI Reviews. You can see everything the DVD has to offer”.

Then I can post the link to my review.

Being a reviewer has a bigger advantage posting wise on IMDB. If I owned a Debt Reduction company, I couldn’t flaunt my link anywhere. I might put it in my signature, but it’d be something that I tried not to pay too much attention to when I was posting. I wouldn’t want people to think I was just there to promote my website. IMDB can be valuable, but it also can be abused, so try not to be the one abusing the service.

Make sure your Forum Posts are High Quality

You represent yourself and your blog/website/business by what you type. IMDB forums are a haven for underage, dramatic whiners. Every single movie page I’ve ever visited has at least one bozo saying “This movie sucked”. I’ve seen people post about how movies like The Godfather are overrated. To each their own, but many just post these arguments to fight with others. You’re there to present yourself as someone knowledgeable about movies and films. Getting involved in the pettiness, especially when it is just some 14 year old running their mouth, makes you look bad.

When you post in the forums, remember to make sure you actually have something to say. If you show you know what you’re talking about when it comes to a certain TV show or movie then people will begin to respect your opinion and they might just visit that website in your signature, as a result.

Using IMDB doesn’t have to be rocket science. This isn’t going to be a site that will work well for everyone, but if you love a certain television show or movie, do reviews for movies/DVDs, or just like to talk about certain actors you can capitalize on your knowledge and opinion by using IMDB to boost your website’s visibility!

Technorati Tags: IMDB, Internet Movie Database, forums, knowledge, films, DVD, movies, business, promote, social network

When I mentioned what topics I can discuss in a public setting, I wasn’t looking for people to rush right up and start booking me for speaking engagements. It was merely a casual conversation I was having with the readers of this blog. I was essentially saying, I can talk on a wide and diverse set of topics. That being said, I believe in the “speak what you know” mantra.

For example, I won’t ever become a public speaker on a topic like economics. I don’t know much about economics, so I wouldn’t be qualified, nor would I attempt to be qualified, to speak on this topic. While I’m sure there are groups of people who clamor for a great economic-based speaker, I am not one of them nor do I understand this audience. I can only speak on topics that I know about and those with which I have personal experience.

Within the broad list of topics I mentioned on my previous blog post, I understand that I would have to come up with specific discussion topics and a niche for each. I get I have to sell myself and what I am talking about, because I’ve been in the public speaking arena since I was 10 years old. I know that nobody is going to listen to you if they don’t find the topic worthwhile, engaging, and possibly even relatable. Nobody wants to hear a dry, boring speech that has no value or purpose. I get that. This is where the “Speak What they Want” part comes in.

If I’m speaking at a convention where the topic is child abuse, I’m not going to talk about being transgendered. It has no place in the speech unless it directly relates to being abused because I was transgendered. People don’t want to hear what you’re saying if it doesn’t relate to the topic that is to be discussed. Still, you can’t speak only what people want. If someone wanted me to talk about how I think child abuse is okay in some households because it really isn’t abuse, it’s corporal punishment, I would turn down the speaking engagement. I’m not so desperate to become a public speaker that I’m willing to talk about any old topic, especially those that I don’t believe are true or viable to my life or perspective.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that when you speak what you know and it relates to the topic on which you’re supposed to speak then you’re going to be speaking what they want. The audience will be receptive to you and your story. You can’t not speak what you know because then you look like you’re unprepared, uneducated and unqualified to truly speak on the topics your public speaking engagements cover.

That being said, this could also apply to blogging. How many guys/girls do you see out there writing a blog on a topic they don’t know anything about? Sure, plenty of bloggers write about what they think will be interesting to their audience. I wouldn’t blog or give a speech if I didn’t think the audience would be receptive to the message. That’s just common sense.

Technorati Tags: public speaking, Dominick Evans, blog post, speak what you know, what they want, audience, topics

Some of the new shows have already started and some of the returning shows are now on air.

Within this first week of Fall television I’ve come to realize the following things:

-Guys can be addicted to Gossip Girl, too
-The writing for GG is what makes it good
-Blair’s hot
-90210‘s premiere wasn’t as great as expected
-the writing wasn’t solid, the dialogue sucked, and so did some of the young actors
-Next week’s 90210 looks more promising
-Sons of Anarchy f’n rocks man!
-Katey Segal plays an evil bitch and I like her that way
-Jax kind of resembles Brad Pitt at certain moments
-The season premiere of Criminal Minds (Dexter/Grey’s/Eli Stone) can’t come fast enough
-The writer’s strike still sucks
-Big Love should be on now!
-I can’t wait to watch Life on Mars (Eleventh Hour/True Blood/Sanctuary/Fringe/Crusoe)
-If the show has J.J. Abrams name attached to it, you watch it!
-Lost won’t be on until mid-season. Boo!
-What happened to the CW?
-Some shows actually look decent (Privileged, Valentine, and Easy Money)
-If things don’t work out and Dexter kills you, you’re bound to become a Goddess in your next life!
-I need to watch Dancing with the Stars just once
-I want to see Chloris Leachman take down Susan Lucci
-I didn’t even know Chloris was still alive?
-I’m wondering if they’ll feel bad Susan didn’t win those 25 other best actress Emmy’s and give her the Dancing crown to make up for it?
-I hate soap operas!
-My mother in law loves them
-Especially All My Children
-She loves Susan Lucci
-She doesn’t have very good taste!

That’s about it for now. I’m looking forward to recapping some of the new shows out there. You can check that out on LI Reviews.

Technorati Tags: TV Shows, Dancing with the Stars, Dominick Evans, Gossip Girl, 90210, fall shows, television, Dexter, Criminal Minds, All My Children, Susan Lucci