I had a lively debate on Twitter about same sex marriage the other night. I can refute every argument against Same Sex Marriage with facts. It’s time America got past the silly nonsense of denying an entire group of Americans the right to marry.

I call it a right because there are over 1400 benefits (state and federal) that are afforded by the government to a married couple. While some couples make their wedding a church/religious affair, marriage is first and foremost a government granted right. If it wasn’t you wouldn’t need a state certified marriage license. The church would simply write down your marriage if only ordained by the church.

The Declaration of Independence promised all Americans the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. These are three inalienable rights afforded to all Americans. Marriage is another of those inalienable rights. It is unconstitutional for any government (state, local, federal or otherwise) to deny anyone the right to marry, who is over the age of consent and unrelated. So, why are so many people against Same Sex Marriage?

1. Fear - People fear the unknown. They don’t understand same-sex relationships, so they’re quick to dismiss them as legit or logical. A same-sex relationship is actually quite similar to a heterosexual relationship. Same-sex couples eat meals together, spend time together, share bills and buy household necessities together, raise children together, buy/build/design a home together, participate in hobbies together, etc. It’s really not very different than any other relationship save for the intimacy involved and even then, it’s fairly similar.

I’ve found that educating others, especially those opposed to same-sex marriage, who don’t know a single gay person, has changed many views. Speaking from experience, being GLBT is not a choice. It’s who the person is, and nothing has ever been proven to change GLBT individuals, not even “reparative” therapies or “get rid of the gay” camps. Not even the church can make a GLBT person non-GLBT. They just make the person a liar.

2. The Bible says it’s bad. Which Bible have you been reading? I’ve read many a Bible and most of the English translations make a mockery of the original Bible. The original Bible was written in Ancient Greek, Aramaic, and Hebrew. Before quoting the actual Bible, I recommend people learn Ancient Greek (Open Texture has an excellent program, which uses authentic Bible text - free of English-translated dogma). You can find various places online to learn Hebrew, and I’m sure Aramaic as well.

Then you can go to websites like Codex Sinaiticus to translate the various Ancient Bibles out there yourself.

I can tell you for a fact, there was no mention of homosexuality in the original Bible. There wasn’t even a word for homosexuality until the 1800s. What the Bible did refer to was, the “pagan” temple slaves/prostitutes. These men were condemned. They participated in orgies that celebrated the Gods and yes that included homosexual orgies. The term associated with this was to’ebah, which is often translated as an abomination or a detestable act.

It’s not hard to imagine early Christians condemning this. They believed polytheistic orgies were detestable. Christianity has always been a relatively prudish religion. However, the Christians were paranoid about the polytheists, in particular. The systematic elimination of polytheistic practices (including the subsequent rape of women and murder of men - in order to cleanse the world of polytheists and convert the non-believers) was due to polytheism’s threat to Christianity. For centuries, the Christians feared the resurrection of polytheism, and condemnation of polytheist acts, including temple prostitution and “divinity inspired orgies,” is to be expected.

In the Bible, these male temple prostitutes/slaves are referred to as qadesh. This has been mistranslated to mean homosexual. How would the Ancients have meant qadesh for homosexual when homosexual wasn’t even a word then? It’s clear that the Bible was condemning the temple prostitutes (qadesh) and their orgies as an abomination (to’ebah) and therefore, there is not a SINGLE mention of homosexuality or its condemnation in the Bible.

The Ancient world didn’t have this bias towards homosexuality that we have.

3. Marriage has always been traditionally heterosexual. We cannot change the institution of marriage from what it has always been.

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Now that I’ve had the time to actually sit down and go through Sean O’Connor from the Transabled website’s accusations against my opinion on BIID, I can actually explain a bit more about my “unique perspective” on being a disabled man in a wheelchair, who is also transgendered. I’ve been accused of being chickenshit, not posting comments (server problems prevented that) and having no comprehension of mental illness. Let me share my own thoughts on Sean’s response and how I feel I am qualified to speak out about BIID.

Sean says, “I don’t expect everyone to support BIID, but in truth, you can’t “disagree” with it. BIID is real.”

I believe that statement is all in the eye of the beholder. If a schizophrenic saw purple dinosaurs, I’m sure they would insist those dinosaurs were real, too. Don’t get me wrong. I do believe those who claim to have BIID have some mental disorder, but is BIID truly real in the sense that those who have it cannot be fixed without becoming disabled in some form? That remains to be seen. At the present time, I’d say no. I say no because those with BIID use the fact that brain scans show that their brains are different than the average, non-disabled human. That’s great, but that doesn’t signify BIID. It could signify any of the many mental conditions out there.

For instance, my son has both Bi-Polar Disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome. His brain scans are not the same as the average, non-disabled individual. Likewise, neurobiofeedback is showing remarkable progress in the changing of brain patterns and structure with many involved in this therapy actually improving and brain scans showing that their brains are reshaping to be more like the average brain. This also allows more functionality of the individual.

With this in mind why couldn’t neurobiofeedback be something those who believe they have BIID looked into as an option? See, those who are transgendered do not have this option .The difference is not in there being something different about the brain of the transgendered individual. In utero, the brain actually forms as male or female. Studies are showing FTMs don’t have (for lack of a better word) abnormal brains. They have normal, masculine brains. They just happen to be in the wrong body for what their brain signifies. Something like neurobiofeedback simply won’t change gender in a brain because there is logically, nothing wrong with the brain.

My biggest problem with the transabled community is not that I cannot acknowledge these people need mental help because they do. My problem is with their method in going about it. They refuse to accept any other explanation for what they have other than that it is BIID. They believe their only cure is to become disabled. While they say they’ve tried alternative therapies I have to ask, have they really tried? Prescription medicines can alter the brain’s perception, so there has to be a medicine to help with this because this is supposedly a disorder of the brain. Furthermore, if the condition was listed on the DSMV, the doctors are most likely going to try and treat this with a medication. I don’t feel those in the transabled community have portrayed this as being a viably acceptable option. For some, it seems it is there way (make me disabled) or no way.

I don’t believe any of them have truly tried to change through therapy and medication. I know it’s hard. I have watched my son struggle throughout his life. His entire life is a struggle, but he doesn’t stop living just because he is different. We’re all different and we all have to do what we can to adapt, disability or not. On that front, I believe my son is miles ahead of those who are transabled, many of whom are three, four and maybe even five times his age.

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Today is a day of blogging for LGBT families all over the internet. For those living under a rock, LGBT stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered. I just happen to technically be considered transgendered. This means that my gender doesn’t match my birth sex. Essentially, I was born female, but grew up with the feelings and emotions of a male. Gender is different from sex because sex is biological and gender is perceived. In easier terms, sex is based on body parts and biological makeup, while gender is how you envision yourself.

Strangely enough, the cause for this might just be a biological one. One theory is that those of us who are transgendered are the way we are because in utero (while in the womb), we were exposed to different hormones than we should have been. A transgendered MTF (male to female) might have been exposed to more estrogen and/or androgen while an FTM (female to male) might have been exposed to more testosterone and/or androgen.

It is an interesting theory, especially considering the fact that the ob/gyn who spent her time examining me, in the womb for nine months, swore I was a boy. I was being carried like a boy. Everything appeared as though I were going to be born a boy. With as much experience as she had (having delivered hundreds of babies) she was seldom wrong and quite shocked when I came out a girl.

You see, I was born believing I had to act like a female because biologically I was one. I later realized that all of the feelings of discontent came from my being perceived as something I was not. To me, I was just one of the boys. Most of my close friends were other boys and I liked doing things most boys did. As an adult, I’ve taken the steps to become a man. This involves a lot of dedication. There is the legal aspect (name change and all that comes with it, change of gender on important documents), the physical aspect (dressing, cutting my hair, surgery and embodying the male persona) and the hormonal aspect (regular shots of testosterone). There is also the psychological aspect. I have to be deemed sane enough to be on hormones and have surgery. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have qualified.

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I have wondered when or if there is a time when it is too soon to introduce homosexuality and/or transgenderism to a child. It is likely that in most school districts, there are children who are suffering in silence because their parents are gay, lesbian, or transgendered and they are afraid they will be picked on if other children find out. The reason why we even question when the time is right to talk to children about these topics is because there is still a stigma attached.

In my way of thinking, it isn’t a choice. Nobody chooses to be hated and treated like crap and I can’t think of one person in the GLBT community that has not been hated, made fun of, or treated poorly because of who they are. Honestly. Who chooses to live a hated existence? This is just part of why I believe there is no way it can be a choice. With millions of GLBT Americans out there, it’s hard to believe everyone chooses to deviate from what is considered normal. Sorry, but there just isn’t enough incentive, to choose to be gay or transgendered. It’s not a choice.

You can argue with me until the cows come home on this topic, but this doesn’t really change the fact that there are thousands of children living in GLBT households and it is only through compassion and understanding that these children are going to be accepted. I guess if you have to blame anyone, blame the parents, but don’t make the children suffer because you don’t agree with their parents. Going further, this means that children do need to learn about other cultures. Yes, children of GLBT parents live in a different cultural environment. Just like teaching children about the customs and cultures of other nations, it is imperative to be inclusive so children of GLBT parents have a place in both school and other social environments.

This brings me back to my original question. Is there a time when a child is too young to understand homosexuality or transgenderism? Children are incredibly resilient. They understand more than you can imagine and their level of compassion and understanding puts most adults to shame. I know that my son was eight when he learned that Daddy was transgendered. He didn’t fully understand what transgendered meant, but he knew that I was born like most girls were born, but I always felt different and that I always felt like a boy.

He also understood I was and had taken steps to become a boy. He was, perhaps, the most understanding of all I told. When anyone slipped and referred to me by a female name or feminine pronouns, surprisingly, he was the first to correct them. He accepted it wholeheartedly and comprehended it to the point where introducing me as his father (I have been with his mother since he was 7) was nothing he was ever ashamed of doing. Some children of GLBT parents aren’t so lucky, as they live in less accepting towns and environments.

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