So, I’m starting a campaign to email members of the Ohio House of Representatives to try and get this changed. Here is a basic email I am sending out. Please feel free to change it to suit your situation. Also, even if you are not transgendered, we need your support. If you were born in Ohio or live there now PLEASE consider emailing your current or former representative and asking them to change their birth certificate rules.

Go here to find your Representative (or the one you had when you lived in Ohio): Ohio House of Representatives Listed by Zip Code

Here is the basic email:

Dear Rep. _____________________,

I am writing to you as a former/current constituent of the district you represent in the Ohio House of Representatives. I was born and raised in Ohio, and therefore, my birth certificate comes from this state. This means that any changes that are made to my birth certificate are based on the laws of Ohio.

Did you know that Ohio is one of only TWO states in the United States that does not allow transgendered residents to change their gender designation on their birth certificate? This means that 48 other states, even the most Conservative of states, are a step above Ohio when it comes to gender equality. Also, when anyone changes their name in Ohio, a new birth certificate is issued with the old name crossed out. This is not only unwise for those changing their name to reflect a change in gender, but also anyone changing their name to protect themselves from harm.

By allowing anyone who sees the birth certificate to see the crossed off, former name, Ohio is opening transgendered individuals up to harassment and outing them, even when their physical appearance dictates the gender with which they perceive themselves. For example, a bushy faced man named Jim faces the fear of discrimination and hatred by those who happen to see that his name used to be Susan on his birth certificate. By sealing the old certificate and re-issuing a new one with the new name, as many states already do (i.e. Michigan), Ohio is showing it cares about all of its residents regardless of their gender.

I implore you to consider changing these grossly unfair birth certificate rules and regulations. They will benefit more than just your transgendered constituents. They will also benefit women and children trying to escape abusive situations with a fresh start (changing names can be just the way to do that and to protect the children). Please consider proposing that Ohio change these practices, so this great state does not get left behind.

Thank you for your time!
Your Name

UPDATE: I also emailed Governor Ted Strickland with the same message above.

You can email him to by going here.

Technorati Tags: contact, Ohio, House of Representatives, Gender Equality, Transgender, Birth Certificate, Ohio Law, Lawmakers

Gay and lesbian soldiers are already serving in the U.S. armed forces. They are already bunking with, showering with and defending with heterosexual counterparts. They just cannot reveal who they are, who their partners are, and they have to go into a hectic, mind-wrenching profession keeping up the facade that they are heterosexual, too. It is draining enough to be in the military, especially those who are deployed, but to constantly be looking over your shoulder to make sure nobody finds out about you? It adds a level of pressure to a gay/lesbian soldier heterosexual soldiers won’t endure.

Sure, I’ve heard the arguments about bunking and showering with “gays”, which, by the way, is absolutely ridiculous. Just because a lesbian soldier likes women does not mean she is hot for ALL women. It does not mean she wants to have sex with ALL women. Many homosexuals serving in the military have partners back home, and they are often in monogamous relationships. Just like straight couples, this means the gay soldier loves their partner and wants to have sex with their partner. They aren’t looking for booty calls or quickies. Further, the military has so much going on. who has time to think about sex? Oh yeah, I imagine if I were out in the 100+ degrees sun, hot, sweaty, smelling of stench with weapons all around me and bombs blowing up all around me, the first thought on MY mind would be to get it on with others in my unit. Did you catch the sarcasm there?

I have a message to all those straight soldiers out there who think their gay/lesbian comrades want to jump their bones.

Guess what, cupcake. You are NOT the bees knees. Frankly, you are most likely unattractive to the homos in your unit because they ain’t feelin’ you that way. So, get over yourself. Worry about doing your job and not about whether other soldiers are looking at your butt. Most likely, they aren’t.

Ok, now that I have gotten that out of the way, I really have to ask: WHY DOES IT MATTER IF GAY SOLDIERS SERVE?

DADT needs to be repealed because soldiers can get fired if they are outed. Higher ranked officers cannot acknowledge their partners nor let them celebrate military achievements in public, the way spouses of heterosexual soldiers can (and are expected to do so).

It needs to be repealed because gay and lesbian soldiers have fought JUST AS HARD as their straight counterparts in equally as hard jobs. They have been found in every sector of the armed forces, at multiple levels and at numerous ranks with multiple job titles. The gay soldier IS THERE. They deserve the chance to be protected from being discharged. The military needs these soldiers NOW more than ever, while we are still at war and in need of more soldiers at home and abroad.

It needs to be repealed because gay and lesbian soldiers have died, are dying and WILL DIE for their country. Their partner is not informed initially of their passing and gets no say in medical or funeral arrangements. These soldiers deserve to die with the dignity afforded to all straight soldiers and their partners/spouses.

These soldiers have DIED protecting a nation that does not treat them equal. They fight to uphold a system of government that wants to deny their very existence. They serve a country that professes it is fighting for freedom, yet these soldiers have their freedoms denied. Still, they fight.

So, why not give them the chance to fight, serve, and protect with pride in themselves, their lives and their country? It is not going to harm the military, because gay soldiers are already there and already serving. They’ve just been forced to stifle the freedom they deserve of being who they truly are.

Technorati Tags: DADT, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Homosexuality, Military, Gay, Serve, Protect, Repeal, Soldiers, Gay Soldiers

***Photo Copyright rharrison. Available under Creative Commons.

The latest was some guy on Twitter running his mouth about Glenn Beck. Supposedly Beck compared the “Gay Agenda” to the “Muslim Agenda” with a primary goal of taking down Christianity. I know many a gay Christian. In fact, the majority of religious gays and trans folk I know are indeed Christians. So, why would they want to take down a group they belong to? It makes absolutely no sense to me.

Also, I don’t want to take down Christianity. I just don’t want Christian dogma shoved down my throat. I want to be able to practice the religion of my choice without fear of oppression or hatred. I have family and friends who are Christians who respect this and I love them dearly.

Since I have no idea what this agenda that I am supposed to have is, I thought I’d tell you about my day today. Perhaps if we put all our heads together we can figure out what my agenda is, against the world, since I am transgendered and therefore complete the T in GLBT.

So, without further ado, my family’s day:

Ash woke up at 9 AM. CT was up. She gave him his medicine (no not his gay agenda brainwashing meds – he has Aspergers, Bi Polar and ADHD). She made him breakfast, helped him pick out his clothes, and he got dressed. He also brushed his teeth and combed his hair.

I woke up around 11:30. Ash started CT’s Life Skills/Health Class. He did a selection of worksheets including:

Homework Worksheet: Study Guide B
Homework Worksheet: Word Bank
Homework Worksheet: Achieve Your Dreams
Reteach Worksheet: Life in Balance
Reteach Worksheet: Are You a Good Manager
Reteach Worksheet: Getting a Handle on Life
Activities Worksheet: Can Neat and Messy Get Along?
Activities Worksheet: How Stress Affects Relationships

He also did his Chapter Review (Vocab and Key Concepts) in his Glencoe Life Skills 2010 book. He has his Chapter test tomorrow and he’ll start the following chapter after his test.

While Ash was teaching, I was getting a copy of An Episode Under the Terror and The Executioner, both by De Balzac. Earlier this week, he read The Mysterious Mansion by De Balzac, in his Classic Horror Stories textbook from Glencoe. I read through both stories and made up an accompanying worksheet for An Episode Under the Terror. Once I was done with that. I got to work reviewing movies for my website LI Reviews.

We ate lunch after CT finished his first subject. I had egg salad on fresh rosemary bread, kalamata olives, and fresh salsa and chips. It was a GOOD meal. CT went into the living room to read a book, watch TV, and play with the dog. His choice of entertainment was his grandmother’s soap operas, unfortunately for him.

Ash did some leg massage and exercises on my legs and hip. Then she took a shower. After her shower she taught the Horror Classics Stories Class. CT was given a homework assignment relating to the original De Balzac story. It is a writing assignment due in a week. As they did schoolwork, I worked on our websites, resized pictures and the like.

Then I went on Facebook to check my farm and say hi to friends. After that, I headed over to Twitter for the Glenn Beck rant fest. The son is now tucked in bed. We ate dinner (andouille sausage, spinach and a salad), he took his bath, and he brushed his teeth. He took his night meds and it is slumber time for him. So, here I am writing this blog post.

Does it sound like I (and my family) have an agenda? No…we are just average joes living our lives…AS A FAMILY.

Tomorrow, we’ll do it all over again only this time it is Algebra and Life Skills.

So, that is the GLBT agenda.

IF there is any GLBT agenda or gay agenda, it’s simple to understand.

WE JUST WANT TO LIvE OUR LIVES KNOWING OUR CHILDREN AND PARTNERS ARE HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND PROTECTED.

So, Glenn Beck, put that in your pipe…and smoke it.

Technorati Tags: gay agenda, GLBT agenda, Glenn Beck, transgender, family, homeschool, Aspergers, live life, kids, family

Bill O’Reilly has started that if gay marriage is allowed, next people will want to marry ducks. This is a common “slippery slope” argument. It isn’t accurate though since ducks cannot consent to being married to humans and the whole purpose of legalizing gay marriage is to allow two, adult, consenting same sex partners to marry.

Well, Pat Robertson had to talk about ducks, too. He doesn’t like the fact that a bill is on the table that would protect sexual orientation under the status of hate crime. If we protect the “gays” what’s next? Should we protect the guy who wants to have sex with a duck? Should that guy be protected under the status of hate crime?!

Seriously, Pat. Are you that stupid? How can you compare duck love to same-sex love? That’s just silly.

Apparently, two pro-gay marriage actresses agree. They’ve come up with a video response/parody. It’s quite funny.

Sex with Ducks is the brainchild of Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci. I think it’s hilarious. How about you?

Technorati Tags: Sex with Ducks, Gay Marriage, Slippery Slope, Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome, Kate “Oates” Micucci, Video, Funny, Pat Robertson, Bill O’Reilly

That being said. I decided to compile a list of rules to follow, that dictate traditional marriage from earlier times. If you don’t fit on this list and are married…then shame on you! You are not upholding the values of traditional marriage!!!

1. Sex is for procreation, not recreation. If you are using birth control (why the heck would you need it?), already have all the kids you want, or don’t want kids at all and you are having sex, you aren’t upholding the traditional purpose of marriage…SINNER!

2. Are you married to someone outside your own race? If you are then you are breaking the traditional view on marriage. Interracial marriage wasn’t even allowed or condoned until the mid-20th century.

3. Are you a non-white person? Then you can’t be married. Tradition in America (at least) dictates that you have no rights and that includes the right to marry.

4. Did you marry for love? Men only married women for property or status originally. Companionship was, more often than not, sought with another — in many cases with a close male friend. Men understand men better, after all! If you didn’t marry for the dowry then shame on you!

5. Are you a woman who has any equal say in your relationship? Why are you not submitting to the will of the man you marry? In a traditional marriage you were required to love, honor and “obey.”

6. Are you a man with only one wife? Stemming back to Biblical times, men were allowed to take multiple wives and concubines. How many wives did Abraham have again?! It wasn’t until the U.S. passed a law prohibiting polygamous marriages that this no longer was allowed. I don’t know why? This was a tradition that is still upheld in some parts of the world.

7. Are you divorced? Divorce is one of the worst things you can do to ruin a ‘traditional marriage.’ How dare you break that sacred bond that was shared between you and your spouse? If you marry again that is even worse. You can only have one holy, sanctimonious marriage.

8. As a woman you know it is your duty to allow your husband sex (for procreative purposes) whenever he wants. If he wants to rape you then by the views of traditional marriage, he can do so. It’s his right!

9. Tradition states that a father can essentially ‘sell’ his daughter to the highest bidder. Back in the day, the girl could be as young as 13 or 14. So long as she was in her ‘child-bearing’ years it didn’t matter how old she was. So, dads, when are you going to start ‘selling’ your teenage daughters?

10. If you are a woman and you lost your virginity before marrying then you are an undesirable. You will either have to spend your days working as a courtesan/prostitute or you will live and die as an old maid.

So, hows about dishing me up a helping of that there traditional marriage? I can totally see where those harping about it are coming from!

Technorati Tags: traditional marriage, marriage defense, one man one woman, dowry, slavery, interracial marriage, argument for marriage

“You can’t be transgendered. I thought you were gay?”

How many times has someone who identifies as trans heard this? I have. You’d be surprised how many trans individuals actually, at one point, had no other term for what they were other than gay or lesbian. I, myself, am guilty of this one. Why this is has to do with sexual orientation though sexual orientation really has nothing to do with gender identity.

Trans issues are still not in the forefront in our country or really worldwide. Growing up, most people know if they are attracted to one gender or another. When I first came out, I was 16 years old. I knew for years that I was attracted to women though initially I thought it was just admiration. When the effects of puberty kicked in and I was ‘feeling it’ when I checked out hot women (like Renee O’Conner from Xena – drool!) the only word I had for what I was, was lesbian.

As I grew older, went to college and met trans individuals it finally clicked in my brain that I was trans. I had never truly felt the term lesbian fit me. I was always constantly, internally looking for answers and it took me until I was 21 to find them. You know, many don’t admit or even realize they are trans until much later in life, living in sham marriages because their families want them to be ‘normal’ or living a lesbian/gay existence.

Note: You can be trans and gay. Trans refers to gender identity (FTM, MTF, male, female) and gay is your sexual orientation. So if you identify as FTM or male and are attracted to other males then you are trans and gay. Likewise if you are MTF or female and are attracted to other females you are gay.

“You can’t be trans. You wore dresses!”

I don’t know who in their right mind thinks dresses are comfortable. Sitting in a wheelchair in one sucks majorly. Yes, I wore dresses. There isn’t a trans person who is FTM who hasn’t wore dresses to my knowledge. I even liked dresses, for one distinct reason. I knew if I wore a fancy dress, I got to be on television. I was a goodwill ambassador for a charitable organization and I also wanted to be an actor, so if it meant I got to be on television, sure I’d wear a dress.

Check my Jr. High and High School school pictures though. Nearly all of them have me dressed in pants, and nothing fancy. In fact, my 11th grade picture has me in a U of M T-shirt. Gosh, how girlie of me. Irregardless, trans people (FTMs) do wear dresses for whatever reason they feel they have to, but just ask my friend Suze. Not even girlie girls like to wear dresses all that much. They are uncomfortable after all! To think that the way a person dresses determines their gender identity or how they feel inside is preposterous.

“You never crossdressed, so you can’t be trans.”

Crossdressing and trans issues are two different things. Many crossdressers are straight males who only do it because it feels good. They like the way it feels. For most, it is a fetish. Crossdressing and transexuality are two VERY different things. Do not confuse them!

I used to ‘crossdress’ (if you want to call it that – I call it being comfortable) as a kid when I wore my brother’s hand me downs. You know what? I LOVED them. Check my Facebook. I have many pictures with me in his clothes and I’m happy as a clam. I also look like a little boy in most if not all of them. Irregardless, crossdressing as a kid doesn’t make you any more trans then being gay does. None of these things correlate.

“You can’t be trans & FTM. You didn’t play sports. You can’t be trans & MTF. You never liked dolls.”

Childhood activities have NOTHING to do with being trans. I played with dolls (I also ripped all the hair out of my favorite doll’s head – not very girlie IMO – I would also throw her against the wall). I also played with hot wheels cars. My brother would always give me stupid cars like broken down trucks while he took the sports cars, much to my chagrin. Still I’d race them around my wooden porch. I also played with gender neutral toys, like my Little People Castle, which I LOVED.

I collected baseball cards since the 1980s. I still have MANY of them. They were kept next to a jewelry box I was told was my dead grandmothers. I kept her rosary in it and loved it because it was hers. I loved to play kickball with my grandfather, ride my bike, big wheel and swing. I also liked to play imaginary games outdoors and color. I loved board games, especially Sorry and Life. I had Barbies but my favorite was the Barbie Ice Cream maker because, HELLO it made Ice Cream.

I liked to jump on our small trampoline, go swimming, and watch cartoons. I had My Little Ponies, Rainbow Brite, Transformers, a Jem playset, and an Alvin and the Chipmunks play set. I liked playing He Man (and She Ra) with my brother. I had a She Ra costume and I especially liked the sword. I also had Pound Puppies and Pound Kitties, Popples, and Garbage Pail Kids. I liked the Goonies, ET, and plenty of other kid friendly movies when I was growing up. So, what has any of this told you about me? I was a child of the 80s!

So, I liked boys and girls stuff. I did ask to play t-ball and wanted to play soccer like my brother, but was told I was not allowed. I did have a muscle disease, so playing sports wasn’t much of an option until I got into college, where I played recreational wheelchair sports (at WSU).

I have always loved sports though. I’ve been a fan of U of M football for as long as I can remember. Far back into the very early 90s. I started watching baseball actively in 1993 though I grew up a fan of Jose Canseco in the 80s. I was following the 1993 Blu Jays. They went to and won the World Series. My heroes were Juan Guzman, Roberto Alomar, John Olerud, and Joe Carter. The following year, I picked a team closer to home; the Cleveland Indians. I became a fan, my favorite player, Omar Vizquel though I also liked Sandy Alomar, brother of Roberto. I followed the Indians until my dad passed away.

Then, when I moved to Michigan, I renewed my interest in baseball. My team was now the Detroit Tigers. This wasn’t hard considering I grew up in Toledo and had always been a fan of the Mudhens. Today, I also follow Hockey (Red Wings), Basketball (Pistons), NASCAR, Soccer (Manchester United & Liverpool), Football (Saints & Jaguars) and I still love my Wolverines. I even got the Jaguars logo on my first pair of AFOs (plastic leg braces). How’s that for a sports fan?

But I digress…both men and women LOVE sports. This doesn’t make you trans.

“You can’t be trans. You are nothing like those trans people I saw on daytime talk shows.”

Not all trans people are alike. If you are using Maury and Sally Jesse as your guide to how ‘trans people’ should act then you are sadly misguided my friend.

“You can’t be trans. You don’t have any of the symptoms.”

First, being trans is NOT a disease. It’s about your gender identity. It’s about how you see yourself, internally. Furthermore, what are these ‘said symptoms’ that seem to not be prevalent? All trans are not created the same. Yes, we may all see ourselves as the gender opposite of our birth gender. That is about where the similarity ends.

Not all of us know we are trans from birth. Most of us know we are ‘different’ but aren’t sure why until later in life. Looking back, in our minds, it all makes sense. NO ONE ELSE has the right to tell you how you feel or what you think. They are not in your mind. They are not you. How you act as a child doesn’t determine whether you are transgendered or not, because many of us feel we have to fit into the gender role into which we were born, even if we don’t feel that fit who we were, as kids.

Being trans isn’t a joke or something taken lightly. Years of surgery and over ten operations, lifelong injections, and alienation (potentially) of family and friends is a lot to endure.

Being trans is NOT a choice. It’s just the way it is.

Technorati Tags: transgender, misconceptions, sports, dolls, raised, toys, family, gender, transsexual, gay, homosexuality

As much as I have to say that Allen Ray Andrade had no right to kill Angie, I have to believe this was a major warning to the transgendered community, as a whole. No one has the right to take another life (except in self-defense – if you are going to try and kill me I’m going to try to kill you back and that is okay IMO). Angie was young and made a mistake in getting involved with Andrade, and it cost the young woman her life.

I am glad Andrade got a harsh sentence, but it’d be nice if we could get true justice by torturing these kinds of murderers. He had no remorse and stole Angie’s car, to escape, which is how he was found. Still, something is nagging me, by the entire situation. Angie ignored warning signs that might have ensured she was alive today. I think Andrade would still have killed someone else, because no one is capable of that much violence (Angie was essentially, violently bludgeoned to death) without being hardwired for such actions. Still, I can’t help but think Angie’s death could have been prevented.

If you plan to have a sexual relationship with someone and you have had or want to have sexual reassignment surgery, you owe it to your partner to disclose this. Angie performed oral sex on Andrade and he didn’t know she was a transsexual. When he discovered it, he planned out her murder. Psychologists say that is because Andrade hated gay people (and was probably gay himself and in denial), confusing gender dysphoria with sexuality (they are different). Angie could have prevented his violent rage by being honest from the time she knew she wanted to be intimate with him.

If you are post-op I can see not telling just anyone about your past (it’s redundant), but I personally think it is only fair to disclose your past to those you plan to be intimate with in any way. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to be intimate with anyone who was hateful towards me because they don’t understand gender identity issues. Of course, I may be the minority on this. Still, this bit of advice can and will save lives.

My other problem with Andrade is his look. He looks like he could be a part of a white supremacist group. These men hate gay people. Angie knew Andrade hated gay people and she probably knew he was stupid enough to confuse her gender identity issues with her being gay (which she isn’t), yet she still had sex with him. She wouldn’t let him touch her though, so she knew he would freak out if he found out. Had she listened to the warnings, I believe she would still be alive.

It reminds me of another tragic death, that of Brandon Teena. Also dealing with gender identity issues, Brandon was murdered by a group of men and his story was the basis for the movie Boys Don’t Cry starring Hilary Swank as Brandon. Brandon knew these guys were stupid rednecks, and yet he hung out with them. He knew they hated people like Brandon and yet he continued to date a woman (without telling her the truth) who the men were close to. The entire thing might have been prevented had Brandon been honest with the woman. He didn’t deserve to die, but common sense reasoning might just have saved his life.

These deaths…Brandon and Angie…are warnings to our community. Whether we are post op or pre op, we owe it not only to our sexual partners, but to ourselves to be honest about who we are and where we’ve been. Not only is it the right thing to do, it could save a life. Statistics show that 1 in 12 transgendered individuals are at risk of being victims of violence. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a statistic. Learn from Angie’s death and be smart and safe. The law can only protect us from people like Andrade so much. The rest is up to us.

Technorati Tags: transgender, transsexual, Angie Zapata, Allen Ray Andrade, warning, death, Brandon Teena

I’m filling this out because I believe the key to acceptance is knowledge and understanding. Perhaps if people understand what GLBT and being GLBT means, then homophobia and transphobia won’t be as prevalent in this society. Feel free to take this Meme and post it on your own blog.

Are you sure of your sexual orientation? Or are you confused?
I’m sure. I identify as straight, though growing up I thought because I was attracted to women that meant I was gay. What people don’t understand is that gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things. My gender identity is male and my sexual orientation is straight. That means I fall under the T in GLBT.

Are you open with your sexuality? Or is it a secret?
I’ve been dating the same woman for the past six years, so I’m pretty sure most people assume I’m straight

Who was the 1st person you told that you’re a lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgendered?
I’m not a lesbian, though I had no other word for what I was until I realized I was transgendered. I first came out at age 16 after a lot of praying to change and nights spent crying myself to sleep, since I was ashamed of who I was. In the end, I realized I was miserable by lying to myself about who and what I was.

I told my girlfriend I was transgendered first. She had already kind of guessed it.

Is your hair short, medium, or long?
It’s short, and if I use the new Gilette Hair products I received for review, it gets a bit spiky.

Would you ever shave your head?
I have before, multiple times.

Do you own anything with the Gay Rainbow on it?
I used to have a rainbow stripe down along the bottom of my wheelchair when I was in college.

Do you consider yourself a Stud, Androgynous, Femme, Butch, Bear, Prissy, etc.?
I don’t really like labels. I just think of myself as a guy and have for a very long time.

What type of females/males are you most attracted to?
Feminine, Tall, with long dark hair though the occasional blonde strikes my fancy (like Renee O’Connor)

What FAMOUS Lesbian is your favorite?
Leisha Hailey – that girl is beautiful!

Who is your favorite FAMOUS Gay Man?
Neil Patrick Harris – I loved Doogie Howser growing up!

Do you like watching The L Word?
Yes, excluding the entire Max storyline. I think that the L Word bombed when it comes to transgender issues.

Did you ever watch Queer as Folk?
My girlfriend loves it and I love Sharon Gless so yes I did watch it. I wish she was my mom!

What is your favorite gay themed movie?
Bent – That movie is just so sad and beautiful at the same time. For humor I love But I’m a Cheerleader.

Do you have any Pride tattoos? If not, would you ever get one?
No, and I only plan to have one tattoo, not pride themed.

Do you go to GLBT friendly clubs?
Everyone used to go to Celebrity back in the day at WSU.

Would you ever be a Drag King/Queen? (If you’re not already)
Nope

What name would you go by if you did do Drag?
Wouldn’t do drag. Have seen many shows though – fun times!

Have you ever been mistaken for a Male/Female (opposite of your actual gender)?
LOL I am a male – With my name change not final, people look at me strange because its pretty clear I’m male, but on legal documents it’s still not Dom (this year though — it’ll be changed!)

Would you ever have a sex change to become a Male/Female?
Currently undergoing one – its a very long process and requires a lot of commitment – you really have to be certain that this is what you want/need to be the person you know you are

How do you feel about Homophobia/Transphobia?
It’s terrible. People don’t understand how HARD it is to come out. Being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgendered isn’t a choice and yet people seem to think it is okay to hate for something that isn’t a choice. Nobody chooses to be hated, sometimes by people in their own family, so I don’t know why people assume this is a choice.

How do you feel about GLBT folks having children?
The gender of a person or their sexual orientation doesn’t dictate whether they will make parents. Plenty of people who are straight make bad parents. Just like straight people, I don’t think all GLBT people should be parents, but I don’t think being GLBT is any reason to prevent a person from being given the right to be a parent.

If it were legal, would you marry a person of the same sex?
I wouldn’t marry a man because I’m attracted to women, but people who are transgendered face issues when it comes to marriage, too. Seeing as I was born in Ohio, even though I’ll have everything legally stating I’m male, they won’t change my birth certificate to reflect that, so I can’t marry my girlfriend, legally.

Have you ever attended a Gay Pride Festival?
Yes, when I lived in Dayton, Ohio.

Do you wear make-up?
Nope

Do you carry a wallet – or a purse?
If I carry anything, it’s a wallet.

Do you wear Male of Female clothes?
I wear clothes designed for males though many t-shirts I own can be worn by either sex. T-Shirts in general seem to be that way.

Do you prefer wearing cologne or perfume?
I usually wear Portfolio by Perry Ellis or cologne by Calvin Klein

Do you have several piercings & tattoos?
Nope, none of neither.

Do you have a crush on a female and/or male celebrity, if so, who?
Of course! Doesn’t everyone? I really like Kate Beckinsale, Paget Brewster and a few others.

Do you have more GLBT friends than you do Straight friends?
No, I have a good mix of both.

Have you ever been gay bashed?
I had friends who were threatened and was with some friends who were called fags and threatened to be beaten up on the BGSU campus, when we were walking home on campus.

Did anyone stop having contact with you after you came out of the closet?
Nobody really cared when I had no other word for what I thought I was but the word lesbian, but once I came out as transgendered, everybody pretty much threw a fit. I don’t talk to most of my family because of it. I did hear a lot, initially “oh, it’s just a phase!” – I hated that!

What is your favorite GLBT quote?
It’s not really a quote by someone gay, but he does have an out and proud brother. When filmmaker Kevin Smith was asked if he knew he was straight when he was 18. He said something to the effect of “No and I still don’t…and I have a wife and child!” – He’s made it pretty clear how supportive he is to the GLBT community and makes references to GLBT things in all his movies in honor of his brother, which I think is pretty cool

Do you believe you were born a G L B or T?
I believe I was born this way and biological evidence is now pointing to this

Are you proud? Or ashamed of your sexuality/gender identity?
It’s not a matter of pride but of being true to yourself. I see myself and believe in my heart that I am and always was meant to be male. If people don’t accept that then they miss out on a fun, caring, hardworking, freethinking, great friend to have.

Technorati Tags: GLBT, Meme, transgendered, gay, lesbian, bisexual, sexuality, gender identity

I have to be honest. I just can’t afford a van. Prices have inflated to where the standard American in a wheelchair cannot afford a van. The cost of these vans are absolutely ridiculous. Other than blogging about how much these prices stink, there isn’t much that can be done, to change the price of these vans. There are also very few, if any, resources out there that can help with financing.

For example, I just looked up a new, modified, E-Line Ford 250 Van. It has a nice lift in it and costs $59,000. The minivans are usually more expensive than this, though I’ve seen prices run between $35,000-$60,000 for new vans. Most run in the $40,000 range. It’s nearly impossible to get a loan for this much money. With the banks and the bailout, getting loans has become even harder, anyway.

So, I’ve pretty much realized two things. If I want to get out of my house in 2009:

1. I am most likely going to have to get a used van. There are some vans around the $30,000 price range that are fully accessible and have decent mileage.

2. I can’t be choosy about which van I get. While I do have certain requirements for a van (some minivans won’t accommodate the size of my wheelchair with it’s headrest), I can’t select a certain style of van I want because it looks cool. I need a van because I need to get around, and right now, anything that works well and that I can get into is at the top of my list.

The price of these vans, even if they are used, is still exorbitant. So, I’m going to put this out for all of you, in this universe, to help pass on.

Please, if you have a few dollars to spare, could you help donate to my buy a van fund? If not, could you pass the message on to family and friends? I will be chronicling my van purchase journey on my blog and will have lots of pictures to prove that your money is going to buy this van.

You can help donate through the following link:

Thanks for considering helping me to purchase a van. Thanks to you, I’ll be able to make appointments to get back into college. You’ll be helping me to become the independent person I know I am.

With a van I can go to:

-School/College
-Work Events
-Doctor’s Appointments
-Stores (haven’t grocery shopped in years)
-To the Bank (very hard to cash checks or get out money w/o transport)
-Social Events (Haven’t been out socially in five years!)
-Conferences for Work
-Family Events (had to miss my grandmother’s funeral)
-Pretty much everywhere you can go if you have transportation

Technorati Tags: independent, college, raise money, wheelchair accessible, van, muscular dystrophy, fundraiser

The movie Quid Pro Quo was one I had to review. I was interested in the movie because it was supposed to be about a paralyzed reporter who gets involved with an underground group of BIID sufferers, while investigating a story. I should warn you that this contains spoilers, so if you want to see this movie, you probably shouldn’t continue reading this.

The entire movie, I felt this tightness in my chest. It was if every fiber of my being was screaming how wrong this was. Vera Farmiga’s entire performance creeped me out. I’m not even sure I can watch The Departed again without seeing her in this freaky light. Her character is obsessed with becoming paralyzed, and she has this crazy fetish for braces, wheelchairs, and having sex with a paralyzed guy, without taking him out of his chair.

The entire emphasis is on the fact that people want to be paralyzed or disabled due to psychological events that happen in their lives, and for many, this is a sexual thing, a fetish. Sure, those with BIID say that isn’t the way that it is, but then they go and post how putting on diapers makes their willies happy. Many of them get their jollies from “pretending” and the wannabes are as bad about this as the pretenders are.

All of the stories I’ve read about those who claim to have BIID talk about sad, pathetic childhoods or overbearing parents, abusive parents, abusive priests or psychologists, and the list goes on. In essence, it is as if these people feel inadequate due to events in their life, so they associate it with being in a wheelchair, being paralyzed, or amputating a limb.

In a 60 Minutes expose on the subject, many of those who amputated, felt remorse. They changed their tunes after amputation, when it was too little, too late. The persistent feeling of wanting to be disabled didn’t wan nor did their life become magically better. For some, they became even more depressed, now truly understanding what being disabled meant. Don’t I have a right to be offended by this, because I didn’t have a choice in the matter of becoming disabled, yet people think its cool or a fad?

The most disappointing aspect of Quid Pro Quo is the fact the paralyzed man isn’t really paralyzed. Sure, he didn’t know he was only kidding himself, but this is utterly unrealistic. Some doctor would have caught this and it kind of put a damper on the entire tone of the movie. While the BIID sufferers were psychotic in their desire to make themselves “disabled”, many of them weren’t willing to take the final step and become disabled, even if they had the means and opportunity to do so. The paralyzed reporter’s miraculous recovery is a little too rainbows and sunshine for me. Perhaps, a movie that truly explores paralysis and the normalcy those of us with disabilities can have in our lives, will one day be produced.

Either way, the only good this movie does is emphasize the psychological problems those with BIID face, and open up the discussion for why this should even be considered a logical medical condition and not a neurosis, fetish or aspect of perspective mental illness. Treatment should involve medication and behavioral modification, not hacking off limbs or making someone paralyzed with medication.

Technorati Tags: Quid Pro Quo, BIID, psychological, messed up, condition, Body Integrity Identity Disorder, movie, disability, wheelchair, paralyzed