What constitutes abuse? Is it a smack on the face? How about an unpleasant word? Is abuse something deeper or is just something that has to be construed as abuse by the victim of said abuse?

I’ve been in therapy since I was five. That’s about the time I realized I was “different” due to my disability. That’s a pretty early age to realize such a difference (typically kids begin to realize between 8-10, sometimes later). My doctors took no precautions in recommending I go to therapy. I don’t really remember much of it, except I got to play with toys and I never told my therapist anything of substance.

As I got older, and I began to realize my family was a bit dysfunctional, I walked around with a chip on my shoulder. In therapy, I wouldn’t share anything of importance and often treated my therapists like scum. I didn’t want to be there, so why not make them suffer, too? I was deemed a ‘problem child’ with my therapists soaking up every little word my parents said. They believed every half-truth and didn’t even question why I had anger or was struggling more than any normal teenager should.

What became apparent is after “coming out”, the real abuse began. To me, it is abuse. It was unwanted. It was unwarranted. It was unnecessary. The funny thing is, I blamed myself for it, that is until I got into college and “chose” to go to therapy. I had been in therapy so long, by this point, that it was a no-brainer I’d seek out a therapist myself. Except, this time I didn’t ignore my therapist. I didn’t make up things just so they’d leave me alone. I actually spoke to my therapist. I actually explained to them what was going on in my life and for the first time, someone said…”did you ever think this isn’t your fault?”

(more…)

This last few weeks, we’ve had to deal with some excessive cruelty towards our son, CT. Some of the kids in the neighborhood think its fun to try to torture CT. They try to make him perform “tricks” like a circus animal. CT is the type of kid who will do almost anything to make someone happy, even if it might be detrimental to him.

CT’s social disability makes him act younger than he is. Usually his friends are anywhere from 3-7 years younger than him. He’s a lighthearted kid who just wants to play outside and have fun. The two boys who have been picking on him are in their teens. I believe one is older than him by a year or so. The other, is only a few days older than CT. Initially, the second boy (closest to his age) had a mother who claimed she worked with autistic children, so CT was always welcome to come over.

According to CT, when kid #2 is alone, he’s fun to be around. When kid #1 (the oldest boy) is around, kid #2 doesn’t necessarily do anything to CT, but he also doesn’t stop kid #1 from picking on him and trying to make CT do something he shouldn’t be doing. Part of CT’s disability is his inability to lie. When he was younger, he just couldn’t lie period. He didn’t know anything about fabrication.

As he gets older, he sometimes tries (sadly, it’s a pathetic attempt to conceal truth that even a kid could pick up as a lie) though he always ends up admitting the truth when told it’s clear he’s not telling it. It’s nice to see he’s trying to do something so normal socially (though lying really isn’t good), but he’s just unable to fully grasp the concept of lying. That’s how we’re 100% certain he’s telling the truth about everything he says.

Of course, another boy in our neighborhood who is nice to CT says these kids scream at CT, calling him crazy and retard. The boy doesn’t understand why CT still wants to be their friends. CT’s biggest fault is defending those who are mean to him. The kid who sliced his shoulder/neck because he didn’t want CT playing with something did it, according to CT, as an accident. The kid who sits on his chest on the trampoline and bounces, telling him to “take it like a man” is just “playing”, so no harm, no foul, right?

(more…)

I can’t stand Obama. I think Joe Biden is a poor excuse for a politician. Plagiarists don’t sit well with writers, even if I’m only writing until I can get through film school. I don’t think Obama can change anything. I don’t think he has the skill to fix jack shit. He can’t fix what Bush has done and he’s the most inexperienced presidential candidate ever second only to Bush.

But….I hate Sarah Palin. I don’t mean I dislike her. I HATE that stupid bitch. I cannot stand her. She is the biggest hypocrite on the planet. John McCain made a huge mistake in picking her as his running mate. He wanted the “Hillary” supporters and the Evangelicals all in one vote, but seriously, he’s about to alienate both groups thanks to choosing this woman.

I agree that USUALLY a politician’s kids should be off limits, but:

-When a person is trying to force “beliefs” on a nation that do not even work in her own home she is a fuckin’ hypocrite

-Bristol Palin is 17, pregnant and not married - Sarah Palin believes ONLY in abstinence. She wants to remove the teaching about birth control from public schools. Birth control could have HELPED Bristol had she believed in it. Heck, what about condoms? What about AIDS? Shouldn’t kids know to protect themselves?

-Her daughter is also an underage drinker and there are pictures to prove it. How does that sit well with “Republican family values”?

Likewise, Palin wants to censor entertainment, especially books. She wants to ban certain books. How can you ban people from reading? That’s bullshit. Shouldn’t we be encouraging people, especially kids, to read? Maybe if Bristol was busy reading she wouldn’t be off getting knocked up. Just a thought.

She also wants to force creationism into science books and possibly remove evolution. Evolution has NEVER been proven to be wrong. It might not be 100% proven to be true. That’s why its called the “Evolution Theory”. It’s a highly supported theory. No proof has proved it wrong. EVER. All evidence found as of now, in the many years since Darwin lived points to the theory being correct. In fact, it is one of the most thoroughly supported scientific theories EVER.

Creationism has never been proven. Creationism isn’t even a theory. It’s a belief system put into place by a minority of Christians. The only support for it is “faith”. In faith, there is no scientific proof. It isn’t even an educated guess. It’s just believing in something that you can’t see because you want to believe it.

That has NO ROOM being taught in SCIENCE class. SCIENCE is based on facts or proving things that could be backed up factually. Now don’t get me wrong, but unless Jesus and his Heavenly Father sweeps down to speak to all on Earth as a collective whole (even the non-Christians) telling them “Yes, I created all of you”, which has never, ever happened, EVER according to history, there is no way of proving that creationism could be or is real.

(more…)

As I’ve mentioned before, my son, CT (sometimes called The OG Kid since he likes the Olive Garden), is homeschooled. We’ve been homeschooling him since he was in second grade. With Aspergers and Bipolar Disorder, the school system wasn’t exactly supportive of CT and his special needs. While he is quite smart, he needs one on one assistance to stay focused. The school system took his inability to concentrate as a cue to give him substandard work (they were giving him “spell cat” worksheets geared for kindergarteners late into first grade).

Of course, CT’s solution was to not do the work. He knew how to spell cat, so why should he have to prove it over and over in these stupid worksheets? At home, he was already exploring his mom’s Shakespeare books. The easy work made him bored, but the on-level work meant he wouldn’t do it because he didn’t have the supervision to keep him focused. Needless to say, the school system was mean and abusive about it, so for his own safety and well being, he’s been homeschooled.

I started dating my girlfriend in 2002. I’ve been through part of 3rd grade and onward homeschool-wise. I also grew up in a household with a teacher, so I’ve graded papers, kind of knew how to do lesson plans, and I spent my senior year of high school working at the elementary during free class periods as both a tutor and a teacher’s aide. Still, none of that could have prepared me for planning an entire year of school. I can see why (sadly) some public school teachers just brush over school lessons. It is a lot of hard work when you have to plan out a curriculum.

Unlike public schools, CT uses his entire book. I remember the teachers in my school skipping over lessons and doing what they wanted. Our theory is, if it is in a school book, the lesson is there for a reason. I’d hate to skim over something that might help him better understand future lessons. Besides, I find that completing a book fits in well with his schedule. Sure, we’ve had to make a few tweaks and change around a few classes here and there, but the planning process is imperative, to make sure CT learns everything we want him to learn.

This year, things are going to be different for CT. When it is all said and done, we’ll have paid around $1000 for everything he has needed for the year. Granted, this is the year he received his graphing calculator, but we’ve also decided to do a lot more hands-on activities. Usually, we’ve just had him do book work. With him being so visual and sensory, we’re hoping a more hands-on curriculum will make his school year run more smoothly. Yes, he’ll still have to complete book work, but with some internet activities and hands-on experiments it should balance things out to where he’ll start to realize school can be fun.

(more…)

Ever since the server meltdown with the Planet, everything has been so crazy. I’ve had to try and makeup doing reviews for all the days I missed and finding the time to get caught up has not been easy. On top of that, I’ve been out and about quite a bit. I have had quite a few appointments and with the prospect of finally returning to college after the five years since my injury made me leave, I’m even busier than ever.

I feel like I haven’t really been able to sit back and relax. Sure, I’ve had time playing with the PS3 and the Wii (we got some new games to play and we’re working with new companies who want us to review their games…including Rockband. How sweet is that?), but even that has its moments where I think “I’m just doing this for work purposes”. Our one business is booming so Ash has spent all her time running packages to the post office and constantly apologizing for not being able to work on her reviews. I figure I can get caught up on mine and then go back to work on hers. As long as we’re steadily sending in our reviews the companies don’t seem to mind if they’re a little late.

I’m also trying to get Big K’s website going. I have an idea for the design, but he doesn’t really deal well in me explaining my vision. He would do better seeing it. That means I’m just waiting on him to give me a list of links he wants up on his page. I know he has the potential to rack in the dough with the website, which is one of the only reasons I’m doing it for free (that and I’m a nice brother-in-law), but it is hard trying to explain to a somewhat computer illiterate person what links are and why I need them!

CT is dragging his feet lately. Just a few more weeks of summer reading and then he begins 8th grade. The last book or so he’s been sitting around for hours until something good is happening in our house, then he tries to rush through reading because he wants to go do that ‘good thing’. I keep trying to tell him that he gets his designated computer and Leapster handheld time after he does his work, but that doesn’t seem to appease him anymore. He’s more receptive to the “once your summer reading is done you have free time until school begins”.

I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to convince him to read, but know he’ll transition better to when he has school since he had summer reading and not just a non-working summer break. What I don’t get is, once he’s reading he’s totally into the books I’ve chosen for him. It’s just getting him to start reading that is so damn hard!

(more…)

I just happened to catch the tail end of the movie, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, on HBO this afternoon. That got me to thinking about what it would be like to have a dozen children. Not only would it be hard to raise so many kids, you’d have to come up with all those names to give to twelve kids! That being said, this brings me to the question of the day.

The question I have for all of you is, if you had 12 kids, what would you name all of them? To make things more interesting, lets say you have a set of twins (boys or girls - it doesn’t matter) as your two youngest children. If you already have children, feel free to include their names as the first few children on your list!

I consulted with Ashtyn (feel free to consult with your partner, as well) and this is the list of twelve that we came up with for the children we would have if we had a dozen.

(more…)