So, I’m starting a campaign to email members of the Ohio House of Representatives to try and get this changed. Here is a basic email I am sending out. Please feel free to change it to suit your situation. Also, even if you are not transgendered, we need your support. If you were born in Ohio or live there now PLEASE consider emailing your current or former representative and asking them to change their birth certificate rules.

Go here to find your Representative (or the one you had when you lived in Ohio): Ohio House of Representatives Listed by Zip Code

Here is the basic email:

Dear Rep. _____________________,

I am writing to you as a former/current constituent of the district you represent in the Ohio House of Representatives. I was born and raised in Ohio, and therefore, my birth certificate comes from this state. This means that any changes that are made to my birth certificate are based on the laws of Ohio.

Did you know that Ohio is one of only TWO states in the United States that does not allow transgendered residents to change their gender designation on their birth certificate? This means that 48 other states, even the most Conservative of states, are a step above Ohio when it comes to gender equality. Also, when anyone changes their name in Ohio, a new birth certificate is issued with the old name crossed out. This is not only unwise for those changing their name to reflect a change in gender, but also anyone changing their name to protect themselves from harm.

By allowing anyone who sees the birth certificate to see the crossed off, former name, Ohio is opening transgendered individuals up to harassment and outing them, even when their physical appearance dictates the gender with which they perceive themselves. For example, a bushy faced man named Jim faces the fear of discrimination and hatred by those who happen to see that his name used to be Susan on his birth certificate. By sealing the old certificate and re-issuing a new one with the new name, as many states already do (i.e. Michigan), Ohio is showing it cares about all of its residents regardless of their gender.

I implore you to consider changing these grossly unfair birth certificate rules and regulations. They will benefit more than just your transgendered constituents. They will also benefit women and children trying to escape abusive situations with a fresh start (changing names can be just the way to do that and to protect the children). Please consider proposing that Ohio change these practices, so this great state does not get left behind.

Thank you for your time!
Your Name

UPDATE: I also emailed Governor Ted Strickland with the same message above.

You can email him to by going here.

Technorati Tags: contact, Ohio, House of Representatives, Gender Equality, Transgender, Birth Certificate, Ohio Law, Lawmakers

“You can’t be transgendered. I thought you were gay?”

How many times has someone who identifies as trans heard this? I have. You’d be surprised how many trans individuals actually, at one point, had no other term for what they were other than gay or lesbian. I, myself, am guilty of this one. Why this is has to do with sexual orientation though sexual orientation really has nothing to do with gender identity.

Trans issues are still not in the forefront in our country or really worldwide. Growing up, most people know if they are attracted to one gender or another. When I first came out, I was 16 years old. I knew for years that I was attracted to women though initially I thought it was just admiration. When the effects of puberty kicked in and I was ‘feeling it’ when I checked out hot women (like Renee O’Conner from Xena – drool!) the only word I had for what I was, was lesbian.

As I grew older, went to college and met trans individuals it finally clicked in my brain that I was trans. I had never truly felt the term lesbian fit me. I was always constantly, internally looking for answers and it took me until I was 21 to find them. You know, many don’t admit or even realize they are trans until much later in life, living in sham marriages because their families want them to be ‘normal’ or living a lesbian/gay existence.

Note: You can be trans and gay. Trans refers to gender identity (FTM, MTF, male, female) and gay is your sexual orientation. So if you identify as FTM or male and are attracted to other males then you are trans and gay. Likewise if you are MTF or female and are attracted to other females you are gay.

“You can’t be trans. You wore dresses!”

I don’t know who in their right mind thinks dresses are comfortable. Sitting in a wheelchair in one sucks majorly. Yes, I wore dresses. There isn’t a trans person who is FTM who hasn’t wore dresses to my knowledge. I even liked dresses, for one distinct reason. I knew if I wore a fancy dress, I got to be on television. I was a goodwill ambassador for a charitable organization and I also wanted to be an actor, so if it meant I got to be on television, sure I’d wear a dress.

Check my Jr. High and High School school pictures though. Nearly all of them have me dressed in pants, and nothing fancy. In fact, my 11th grade picture has me in a U of M T-shirt. Gosh, how girlie of me. Irregardless, trans people (FTMs) do wear dresses for whatever reason they feel they have to, but just ask my friend Suze. Not even girlie girls like to wear dresses all that much. They are uncomfortable after all! To think that the way a person dresses determines their gender identity or how they feel inside is preposterous.

“You never crossdressed, so you can’t be trans.”

Crossdressing and trans issues are two different things. Many crossdressers are straight males who only do it because it feels good. They like the way it feels. For most, it is a fetish. Crossdressing and transexuality are two VERY different things. Do not confuse them!

I used to ‘crossdress’ (if you want to call it that – I call it being comfortable) as a kid when I wore my brother’s hand me downs. You know what? I LOVED them. Check my Facebook. I have many pictures with me in his clothes and I’m happy as a clam. I also look like a little boy in most if not all of them. Irregardless, crossdressing as a kid doesn’t make you any more trans then being gay does. None of these things correlate.

“You can’t be trans & FTM. You didn’t play sports. You can’t be trans & MTF. You never liked dolls.”

Childhood activities have NOTHING to do with being trans. I played with dolls (I also ripped all the hair out of my favorite doll’s head – not very girlie IMO – I would also throw her against the wall). I also played with hot wheels cars. My brother would always give me stupid cars like broken down trucks while he took the sports cars, much to my chagrin. Still I’d race them around my wooden porch. I also played with gender neutral toys, like my Little People Castle, which I LOVED.

I collected baseball cards since the 1980s. I still have MANY of them. They were kept next to a jewelry box I was told was my dead grandmothers. I kept her rosary in it and loved it because it was hers. I loved to play kickball with my grandfather, ride my bike, big wheel and swing. I also liked to play imaginary games outdoors and color. I loved board games, especially Sorry and Life. I had Barbies but my favorite was the Barbie Ice Cream maker because, HELLO it made Ice Cream.

I liked to jump on our small trampoline, go swimming, and watch cartoons. I had My Little Ponies, Rainbow Brite, Transformers, a Jem playset, and an Alvin and the Chipmunks play set. I liked playing He Man (and She Ra) with my brother. I had a She Ra costume and I especially liked the sword. I also had Pound Puppies and Pound Kitties, Popples, and Garbage Pail Kids. I liked the Goonies, ET, and plenty of other kid friendly movies when I was growing up. So, what has any of this told you about me? I was a child of the 80s!

So, I liked boys and girls stuff. I did ask to play t-ball and wanted to play soccer like my brother, but was told I was not allowed. I did have a muscle disease, so playing sports wasn’t much of an option until I got into college, where I played recreational wheelchair sports (at WSU).

I have always loved sports though. I’ve been a fan of U of M football for as long as I can remember. Far back into the very early 90s. I started watching baseball actively in 1993 though I grew up a fan of Jose Canseco in the 80s. I was following the 1993 Blu Jays. They went to and won the World Series. My heroes were Juan Guzman, Roberto Alomar, John Olerud, and Joe Carter. The following year, I picked a team closer to home; the Cleveland Indians. I became a fan, my favorite player, Omar Vizquel though I also liked Sandy Alomar, brother of Roberto. I followed the Indians until my dad passed away.

Then, when I moved to Michigan, I renewed my interest in baseball. My team was now the Detroit Tigers. This wasn’t hard considering I grew up in Toledo and had always been a fan of the Mudhens. Today, I also follow Hockey (Red Wings), Basketball (Pistons), NASCAR, Soccer (Manchester United & Liverpool), Football (Saints & Jaguars) and I still love my Wolverines. I even got the Jaguars logo on my first pair of AFOs (plastic leg braces). How’s that for a sports fan?

But I digress…both men and women LOVE sports. This doesn’t make you trans.

“You can’t be trans. You are nothing like those trans people I saw on daytime talk shows.”

Not all trans people are alike. If you are using Maury and Sally Jesse as your guide to how ‘trans people’ should act then you are sadly misguided my friend.

“You can’t be trans. You don’t have any of the symptoms.”

First, being trans is NOT a disease. It’s about your gender identity. It’s about how you see yourself, internally. Furthermore, what are these ‘said symptoms’ that seem to not be prevalent? All trans are not created the same. Yes, we may all see ourselves as the gender opposite of our birth gender. That is about where the similarity ends.

Not all of us know we are trans from birth. Most of us know we are ‘different’ but aren’t sure why until later in life. Looking back, in our minds, it all makes sense. NO ONE ELSE has the right to tell you how you feel or what you think. They are not in your mind. They are not you. How you act as a child doesn’t determine whether you are transgendered or not, because many of us feel we have to fit into the gender role into which we were born, even if we don’t feel that fit who we were, as kids.

Being trans isn’t a joke or something taken lightly. Years of surgery and over ten operations, lifelong injections, and alienation (potentially) of family and friends is a lot to endure.

Being trans is NOT a choice. It’s just the way it is.

Technorati Tags: transgender, misconceptions, sports, dolls, raised, toys, family, gender, transsexual, gay, homosexuality

As much as I have to say that Allen Ray Andrade had no right to kill Angie, I have to believe this was a major warning to the transgendered community, as a whole. No one has the right to take another life (except in self-defense – if you are going to try and kill me I’m going to try to kill you back and that is okay IMO). Angie was young and made a mistake in getting involved with Andrade, and it cost the young woman her life.

I am glad Andrade got a harsh sentence, but it’d be nice if we could get true justice by torturing these kinds of murderers. He had no remorse and stole Angie’s car, to escape, which is how he was found. Still, something is nagging me, by the entire situation. Angie ignored warning signs that might have ensured she was alive today. I think Andrade would still have killed someone else, because no one is capable of that much violence (Angie was essentially, violently bludgeoned to death) without being hardwired for such actions. Still, I can’t help but think Angie’s death could have been prevented.

If you plan to have a sexual relationship with someone and you have had or want to have sexual reassignment surgery, you owe it to your partner to disclose this. Angie performed oral sex on Andrade and he didn’t know she was a transsexual. When he discovered it, he planned out her murder. Psychologists say that is because Andrade hated gay people (and was probably gay himself and in denial), confusing gender dysphoria with sexuality (they are different). Angie could have prevented his violent rage by being honest from the time she knew she wanted to be intimate with him.

If you are post-op I can see not telling just anyone about your past (it’s redundant), but I personally think it is only fair to disclose your past to those you plan to be intimate with in any way. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to be intimate with anyone who was hateful towards me because they don’t understand gender identity issues. Of course, I may be the minority on this. Still, this bit of advice can and will save lives.

My other problem with Andrade is his look. He looks like he could be a part of a white supremacist group. These men hate gay people. Angie knew Andrade hated gay people and she probably knew he was stupid enough to confuse her gender identity issues with her being gay (which she isn’t), yet she still had sex with him. She wouldn’t let him touch her though, so she knew he would freak out if he found out. Had she listened to the warnings, I believe she would still be alive.

It reminds me of another tragic death, that of Brandon Teena. Also dealing with gender identity issues, Brandon was murdered by a group of men and his story was the basis for the movie Boys Don’t Cry starring Hilary Swank as Brandon. Brandon knew these guys were stupid rednecks, and yet he hung out with them. He knew they hated people like Brandon and yet he continued to date a woman (without telling her the truth) who the men were close to. The entire thing might have been prevented had Brandon been honest with the woman. He didn’t deserve to die, but common sense reasoning might just have saved his life.

These deaths…Brandon and Angie…are warnings to our community. Whether we are post op or pre op, we owe it not only to our sexual partners, but to ourselves to be honest about who we are and where we’ve been. Not only is it the right thing to do, it could save a life. Statistics show that 1 in 12 transgendered individuals are at risk of being victims of violence. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a statistic. Learn from Angie’s death and be smart and safe. The law can only protect us from people like Andrade so much. The rest is up to us.

Technorati Tags: transgender, transsexual, Angie Zapata, Allen Ray Andrade, warning, death, Brandon Teena

Well, I’ll be the first to tell you there is nothing erotic in my need to look and be perceived as male. I’m not doing this to get my rocks off. I’m transitioning because the outside of me (my physical appearance) doesn’t match what is inside of me (my psyche — my mental, social, etc. identity — all of which view me as male). I see myself as male inside and outside, so I want my appearance outside to reflect that.

It’s a big step to transition. You have to go through lifelong hormone treatments (mainly injections — though eventually patches become a valid option once the injections have made necessary bodily changes take effect). I will be going through at least 10 different operations, years of therapy, and other lifelong adjustments. This isn’t anything to take lightly. It isn’t anything that would get anyone horny, either. I don’t know about you, but thinking about surgery is the least erotic thought in my mind.

Since I know I’m not a pervert (ok, at least not when it comes to my gender identity), there has to be some explanation for why I am the way I am. My belief lies in science. Scientists studying minds like my own have discovered biological alterations in those who identify as transsexual. One of the explanations actually fits well with stories of my birth and time in the womb. First, lets discuss the life of a fetus, because that is when I believe the biological bloop occurred.

Prior to my birth, the womb where I stayed had a miscarriage. It was believed that the child would have been a boy. The child was due April of 1980. I was born December of 1980. During the 12th to 14th week of gestation, hormones wash over the brain of the fetus. This creates a mental sex imprint. Stress or perhaps a mix up due to the last pregnancy (i.e. the body was still responding to the miscarried child’s fetus’ activity) caused more testosterone to wash over my brain. This did more than just imprint my brain with the sense that I was male, though my body didn’t show that physically.

Going further, the ob/gyn who was supposed to deliver me had been a doctor for several years. I’ve been told she was seldom wrong in guessing the biological sex of the children she was to deliver. She was certain I was male. I was being carried in a masculine way. Everything she saw from the pregnancy made her believe I was to be a male, which I believe further points to the fact that I was developing inside the womb the way a male should. I just had the wrong anatomical parts. Needless to say, she was shocked when I was born.

Moving on, as a baby, I could be wearing the most feminine outfit and everyone would say what a beautiful little boy I was. I wore my hair short for years, and as long as I was wearing gender neutral clothing I looked like a boy. As a baby, people thought my brother and I were brothers. It just seems funny that over and over, even when I was put in dresses, I was constantly viewed as male. Eventually it got to the point where my anatomy took over, though I was never, ever comfortable in dresses or feminine clothing (I just wore them because I had to, to be on television).

Looking back at pictures of me, when I was little brings remarks (from family and friends) of, “You sit like a guy. Look at you in a dress, sitting in a chair, slumped with your legs wide open. Chillin’!” or “Did you dress yourself? You look more comfortable in your brother’s hand me downs then in that dress.” At that point, I really didn’t understand what gender identity was. I just knew I was supposed to act one way, and I didn’t always want to act that way.

I remember my first crush. It was on a movie star. I didn’t know what gay or transgender was. I didn’t know that my crush was of the ‘wrong gender’ from what I was supposed to like. It was a celebrity crush. I was in love with Kim Cattrall. I remember thinking how beautiful she was and not really feeling anything for any males. Sure, I liked male actors for their acting and I would play along when a friend was like, oh he’s so cute, but I didn’t get it.

As I grew older, I realized there were socially acceptable ways to act, so I played the game as to not arouse suspicion or be told I was weird. I was struggling with that enough due to my disability. I never believed I was gay. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender identity. Many people confuse this, and even I did, because socially I didn’t even know variants in gender identity existed. Even when I could no longer deny my attraction to females, I never felt I was gay/lesbian. I just didn’t have any other word for what I felt. So, I went with the only terms I knew or understood.

By that point, I’d left behind Kim and was in love with Renee O’Connor from Xena. Oddly enough, I never felt any attraction to any of my peers. It was as though my brain had told me it was okay to admire from afar, until I worked out what/who I was in my personal life. I think it also helps that many of my peers weren’t always kind to me. You can’t like people who aren’t nice to you! In a strange way, I’m kind of grateful for that!

In college, after watching a documentary about a man who was transsexual,the pieces finally clicked together. I knew right away that all this time I was always supposed to be male. My sexual orientation was and always had been straight. I was meant to be a straight male not a lesbian. In some ways, I felt slightly cheated for all the time I’d lost, trying to figure out how/why I was different. When all the parts come together, from fetus to how I am today, everything makes sense. I have no doubt that what happened to me was just one of those biological flukes that occur and I hope that this helps people to understand why I am the way I am today.

It’s not an easy road to travel down, being transgendered. It’s lonely, especially when friends and family reject you…not understanding this is who you are. This happens a lot. However, I know that all the surgery, hormones and everything else I will and have endured will be worth it when my outer appearance finally reflects how I already see, feel and view myself in my mind and in my soul.

Technorati Tags: transgender, hormone wash, transsexual, testosterone, Dominick Evans, personal view, who I am

I know that I’ve somewhat neglected this blog, mostly due to illness, but I’m ready to get back in the game. I had to think a little bit about what my goal is with Dominick Evans Online. I’ve been quite random in my postings on here, in the past. First, I wanted to make it clear that I’m not out to inspire people. I hate when people say that about those of us in disabilities. Just by living my every day life I supposedly inspire others. I don’t get why. Sure, I have to do things differently to get up and perform daily tasks, but that’s normalcy for me and I don’t think my getting out of bed, when everyone else in the world does it, should inspire anyone. If I solved the World Hunger crisis, then you could definitely be inspired by me, but c’mon! I don’t do anything necessarily spectacular!

Second, I didn’t want to make my elevator pitch too preachy. I don’t like being preached at, so I didn’t want to preach at anyone else. This is really a place for sharing my thoughts, my passion, and my zest for life and all its intricacies. So, I sat down (haha) and proceeded to write a short tagline pitch and then an expanded version. Here is what I came up with:

The Dominick Evans Online Tagline

Explore the Life and Thoughts of a Transgendered Man in a Wheelchair at Dominick Evans Online

The Dominick Evans Elevator Pitch

Dominick Evans Online is my personal blog, which I use to express my thoughts, share my passions and enlighten those who have no comprehension of what it’s like to be transgendered and in a wheelchair. A bit random from time to time, the primary focus of this blog is to show the world that just because I face different challenges life throws at me doesn’t mean I don’t still think, feel and act like anyone else. Using humor, political thought and zeal I attempt to take readers through a day in the life of Dominick Evans.

So, what do you think about my tagline and my elevator pitch. Does it accurately describe the kind of things I’ve posted on here at Dominick Evans Online? I hope it has!

Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Technorati Tags: Dominick Evans, Online, Transgendered, Wheelchair, Disability, Man, Personal Blog, Thoughts

I mean, I’ve been living as Dominick for seven years. I don’t hide it. Everyone knows me as Dominick. If I ever get called my old name, I have to remind myself that I used to be that person and that people are talking to me. It’s a very ethereal, out of body type of experience. It’s almost existential in nature.

Well, now I have to go meet my therapist. He’s in Rochester Hills, and I’m trying like hell to get a ride. He meets me in person and determines whether I get my script for Testosterone or not. If I do, then I head to Detroit with him to meet with my doctor/surgeon. He’ll be handling all the endocrinologist functions and performing the 10 or more surgeries I need to finish having. So long as I have my lab work done and sent to him (no problem there) prior to my meeting with him, I can get my script for T right then and there. I think that’ll be one of the most emotional parts of the transition right there. It’s been so long in the coming, I’m ready for this!

I’m also involved in the mumbo jumbo of changing my name. They charge an arm and a leg for it, and it pisses me off, but it’s worth the money to legally be known as Dominick forever and ever. I’m excited about finally getting to court and handling that, because it’s about darn time. The main thing holding me back before was money, but due to the fact that it looks good to the doctor who will give me my injections script to have that underway (it shows how serious I am about this transition), I am more than willing to finish this procedure up.

Well, after I get my script for Testosterone I’ll know if I’m on weekly, biweekly or monthly injections. I’ve already started lifting weights as I don’t want the T to add more fat. I can’t lift much, but anything is better than nothing. My Physical Therapist is trying to get me a hand bike to get function back in my arms, so that will also help. I also will be keeping my diet the same, because the T will make me hungry, and I refuse to eat more and gain more weight. My metabolism boost should actually burn weight for me, if I do that, so that’s what I’m hoping will happen.

The T will redistribute my weight around my body, which will give me a more solid appearance. I’ll also have facial hair growing within a few months and my voice will be dropping. Those are the two things I’m the most excited about. Right now, people are only confused if I speak. I look about as masculine as it gets minus what the facial hair will do for me. My therapist says the voice drop is going to be the thing that makes it so there is no question anymore.

My bones will strengthen as they thicken (a major bonus because mine are very brittle and weak) and my skin will toughen up. There are other changes, but those are the main ones.

So, everything rests on me getting a way/ride to Rochester Hills. Wish me luck because I’m going to need it!

Technorati Tags: testosterone, transgendered, therapy, body image, changes, facial hair, deepned voice, bones, strengthen

I am so very grateful that I live in Michigan. I could benefit from living closer to either Detroit or Ann Arbor, but this post isn’t about that. It’s about the law and transgenderism. Living in Michigan means I can easily change my name and gender with very few obstacle, so long as I meet the criteria for being transgendered, of course. If I had been born in Michigan, my birth certificate (the old one) would be sealed up and a new one would be issued, no muss, no fuss.

Seeing as I was born in Ohio, the story changes. While my ID, social security and other things are easily being changed to reflect the legal and physical changes I’m undergoing, my birth certificate will not be changed. Ohio will not list my gender as male, no matter the circumstances. It’s a bit of a jip if you ask me. Add in the fact that Ohio doesn’t seal the old certificate. They scratch out your old name, though you can still read it, and attach an addendum sheet with your new name listed.

This makes getting a passport hell. I am unable to marry my longtime girlfriend, because the state refuses to recognize me as male legally without my birth certificate stating that. If I was born in Michigan this wouldn’t be an issue in the least. I can’t use my birth certificate as a form of identification without every agency knowing my private history. It’s a bit disturbing and I have to wonder why nothing is being done by the legal and transgendered communities in Ohio.

Right now would be the time to start a campaign to change the law. For the first time, in a long time, the state is run by Democrats, so it’s the ideal time for social change to occur. It doesn’t matter where I move, the birth certificate is from Ohio, so I’ll never have the same shake those in other states have.

With that in mind, only two other states have such harsh, transgendered laws. It’s time for Ohio to chance the discriminatory ways. So, if you live in Ohio and think this law sucks, why not contact your state representatives and ask them to change the law? I’ve done it for my old representatives and I’ve even tried contacting a lawyer who had been looking to change the law, but apparently she abandoned all hope of doing that.

If you are transgendered and from Ohio, I’d love to hear your story!

Technorati Tags: transgendered, law, transgender, Ohio, ID, name change, discrimination

This is an expanded version of what I told Barbara.

Dear Barbara Walters,

After watching part of your interview with the self-proclaimed “pregnant man” Thomas Beatie, I felt compelled to write you. While I am a firm believer in making your own destiny and finding your own happiness, I cannot sit back and watch this man make a mockery of the transgendered community. I cannot sit back and watch him exploit his children for money. I cannot sit back while my transgendered friends and myself have to endure ridicule and face misunderstanding because the general populace is lumping all transgendered people together with him.

I am 27 years old. I came out at age 16, thinking I had to be gay. Though the word lesbian didn’t seem to fit me, it’s the only word I knew to explain my attraction to girls. At age 22, I watched a documentary that changed my life, Southern Comfort. This was a documentary about a transgendered man named Robert, who died of cancer because the hospitals wouldn’t treat a transgendered man. For the first time, I had a word to describe all of those feelings I’d felt for so many years. I realized I was transgendered. For the first time, I felt complete and at peace.

It was then that I took the name Dominick. It was a name I’d used online for a year or so and it meant something to me (I’m pretty sure I used it in a past life). I sat down with my girlfriend, Ashtyn and explained I was transgendered. Coming out to her and finding her unwaveringly supportive meant the world to me. This moment, discovering I was transgendered, changed my life for the better.

You see, Barbara, I’m not just transgendered. I’m in a wheelchair. Being disabled masked many of my feelings about my gender, until I was old enough to comprehend them. Looking back, I can see signs of my desire to be a boy (male) dating back to my early childhood. Even as a baby, people always said I was the most beautiful baby boy they’d ever seen…much to the chagrin of my mother.

I’ve been in a wheelchair full time since I was 16. I have a muscle disease, Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Ten days before my 16th birthday, I had Spinal Fusion surgery and almost died. It saved my life, but since then, I’ve been incapable of walking. Now, I can no longer stand either. Nevertheless, I’m a fighter and I fought to survive only to come out a few months later, facing more adversity, especially at the hands of my dysfunctional family.

That’s not all though Barbara. I was raised in a dysfunctional, abusive household. My family had major problems and my parents, mostly my mother, did unthinkable things to me that I’d not wish on my worst enemy. At one point, these problems and the abuse, which escalated after I came out, made me consider suicide. At one point, I thought I’d never be able to escape or get out, but I had to bide my time and eventually, I did escape. I did save my own life. I finally found happiness and I did all of it with only the help of my beautiful girlfriend, Ashtyn.

Today, I live in Michigan with Ashtyn, her mom, and our 14 year old, autistic son. We don’t have the best house. I’ve had to face a lot of adversity when trying to find adaptive equipment to help me become more independent, but I do make enough to work from home, for myself and enjoy what I do as a blogger, reviewer, and critic. I’m on my way to living the American dream. Though there is more to my story, this is the condensed version.

So, why am I writing this Barbara? I’m sure you’re wondering what my point is. I’m writing this because I want to make it clear that not all transgendered people are doing things for negative reasons. Many of us are just trying to survive. Many of us have exceptional stories to tell. We have survived adversity. Many of us have parents, siblings, and extended family who won’t talk to us or respect our transition. Transgendered people don’t all want to seek the kind of attention Thomas Beatie seeks. We just want to be accepted. We want to be treated the same way as all other human beings…with dignity, respect and humility. We just want to live fair, equal, loving lives without worrying if our children are legally protected or if our marriage is legal in the eyes of the law.

So PLEASE, Barbara, can you try focusing on all the positive things transgendered people are doing? Can you focus on those of us who have fought to be who we are without wanting to make money off of it, or exploit our lives? I know that there is always room for diversity, so why not balance out the negativity of Thomas’ story with the positive spin on the life of someone like me, who has truly fought to be who they are and doesn’t want anything but equal treatment and compassion for who I have become.

Thank you for reading this.

Dominick Matthaios Antony Evans

P.S. To all my readers, I’ll have more on this topic a little later this week.

Technorati Tags: Dominick Evans, Barbara Walters, Dominick Evans, letter, Thomas Beatie, pregnant man, male pregnancy

Thomas Beatie is someone who has taken the steps to legally change their name, physiological body characteristics and nearly everything but their female reproductive organs and vagina to reflect the fact that this person is, in their words, male. Thomas Beattie is said to be transgendered, identifying as male. Essentially, Thomas Beatie is supposed to be just like me (born bio female, but taking/took steps to legally become and live as male). However, Thomas Beatie isn’t like me. Thomas Beatie has reversed the “becoming a male” process, in order to utilize his female reproductive organs and have not one, but two children.

I know this sounds confusing because it is. It’s confusing to many of us who are transgendered, too. First, let me explain that some people believe they are between genders. Some people don’t believe in the gender binary system. These people aren’t trying to make a spectacle, nor are they claiming to be something they aren’t. That’s one of the reasons why I have such a problem with Thomas Beatie. If he wants to look like a guy, with a beard, but still have kids, that’s fine, but don’t say you’re a male, because men don’t have kids through their own bodies. They just don’t. Those of us who are FTM (and identify as either transgendered or male) and are legally becoming male nearly all agree on this point. Many of us also agree that Thomas Beatie has the potential to do IRREPARABLE harm to our community and the potential for acceptance and equality.

See, this is what it boils down to. People are entitled to be happy and live their lives the way they see fit and/or be who they are as long as that doesn’t affect others negatively. The transgendered community has long made strides towards acceptance and equality. Slowly but surely, we’ve been getting there. People have been learning to accept us. It’s a slow and grueling, painstaking process. People are able to get the concept of what being transgendered is and means, but Thomas Beatie has bounced back and forth between the process, to the point where the average person simply cannot comprehend who or what he/she is.

I don’t have to tell you that acceptance is the first step and equality comes thereafter. Without acceptance there can be no equality. I want to be treated equally. I want the same equal rights and protections as other Americans, but the possibility of such equality and such protections is tipping in the balance thanks to Beatie and his confusing decisions. I don’t want this to tip in the wrong direction, because that truly means we’re taking strides back…not forward.

In a split second, the media circus surrounding Thomas Beatie could destroy years of hard work and building bridges between the transgendered minority and the majority. The fact that he seems to be doing this for publicity’s sake is even more painful for those of us, who are truly transgendered, to watch. Seriously, look at what the fundamentalist right has done to gays and lesbians. Can you imagine their reaction to this? I cringe to think of all of the possible, destructive messages they will be spreading about the transgendered community, all thanks to Thomas Beatie.

My question is, why? Is it worth it to break down an entire community Thomas? I know you got paid by Getty for images of you while pregnant and with your daughter. I know you got paid for interviews, to be in a documentary and you’ll be making profits from the new book you’re set to release next week. I guess all this must be worth it. All this must be worth destroying and affecting the lives of millions of Americans not asking for notoriety or money…just asking to live normal, healthy, equal, and accepted lives. I guess it must be worth it to destroy all the hard work of transgendered advocates, by confusing everyone, with your twisted logic of what it means to be male, what it means to be transgendered, and what it means to be a father.

Advocates on Beatie’s side claim being a parent is a human need. I agree. I have one son. I want more children. I, however, will NEVER be having a child through my body. I’m a man. Why would I want to have a child? If my girlfriend couldn’t have children we would do what other couples who cannot have children do. We’d adopt. Biological connection does NOT make a parent, especially with millions of children in foster homes and orphanages around the world. It’s plain selfishness, in my opinion, but Thomas Beattie doesn’t care what this is doing to others…or what this will do to his own children once they become old enough to understand the controversy. All he cares about is what he can gain from this and gain he has.

People can eventually understand that transgendered people feel like the opposite gender from the gender they are born. So, a person born a female feels male and thus doesn’t want to be seen or treated as female. That makes sense. It makes sense to me and it might not be understood completely by others, but it is not as complicated to “get” as many make it out to be.

What most people don’t get is someone taking the steps to be a man only to back track to be a woman by coming off hormones, having kids, then going back to being a man again. It confuses them and all of us who aren’t confusing (us transgendered folk unlike Beattie) become confusing to them. I don’t want people to keep telling me, I’ll probably just want to go back to female to pop out a few kids, because that isn’t me. That isn’t me. I don’t want that. BUT…because of Thomas Beatie people think transgendered people are all CONFUSED, and most of us aren’t.

I can’t say much more than I have. It makes me mad to think about all of the money Thomas Beattie is making off the suffering of others. So, please, don’t judge those of us who are transgendered by him. Judge us by who we are. Most of us aren’t like him and most of us agree that he truly is not a part of a community that just wants one thing…equality.

Technorati Tags: Thomas Beattie, Thomas Beatie, male mother, transgendered, pregnancy, kids, parent, birth

In Arkansas, all unmarried couples (especially GLBT couples) were henceforth banned from adopting children or becoming foster parents. With over 3% of the millions of foster children in the United States living in same sex households, you have to imagine some kids just lost what they believed might become their forever homes.

In the saddest, and most depressing loss of the night, California passed Proposition 8. This is the first time in history, a group of people have had a right given to them by the courts only to have it taken away. If anything is truly unconstitutional, it’s this, because this is the first time people have truly lost a right they once retained. First, we all need to agree that marriage truly is a right. I’ll get into why I believe it is a right a little later in this post.

Many people think that the courts have no right determining what is unconstitutional and what isn’t, but that is exactly why the courts are there. The judicial branch of the government was established because certain minority groups would be denied certain rights by the majority. The minority had to have some protection. In years past, we’ve seen many minority groups be served up similar “unconstitutional” bans on freedom, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The only protection these groups had was through the judicial system who overturned such unconstitutional laws and made it so these groups were given the same rights.

The best example of this has to be the issue of bi-racial marriage. Virginia constitutionally banned bi-racial marriage in 1661. It was a punishable offense back then. Oddly enough, those who passed this law into effect believed it was “God’s Will” and that they were denying bi-racial couples the right to marry because they believed it was against what God wanted. This sounds erriely familiar doesn’t it? Oh yes! This is the same argument now being used to deny GLBT individuals the right to marry.

In 1967, it was the Supreme Court who deemed this law to be unconstitutional. Had the people been given the right to vote on the issue, it most likely would not have passed. Thanks to Loving vs. The Commonwealth of Virginia, the Supreme Court was able to decriminalize the right to marry who you wanted regardless of race. It was through the courts that the minority was protected, not through states voting on the issue.

This is because the majority vastly outweighed the majority and would most likely not have had the minority’s interests at heart. So, why is the majority able to squelch the rights of the GLBT minority group? It’s because the people seem to want more say in government and more say in what they believe is right…not what truly is right.

You should check out my post on answering all of the arguments against gay marriage. It explains how all of the arguments against it have no validity or reasoning behind them. That being said, I should now explain why I believe marriage is a right and not a religious institution. Marriage has become a religious institution though it doesn’t have to be. In fact, by law, it has nothing to do with religion.

Marriage is a right, civil liberty or whatever else you want to call it because those who marry get government benefits. Marriage is, in its purest form, a legal binding of two individuals. Religion has nothing to do with legal matters or the courts. In fact, marriage is one of the most heavily rewarded, legally binding contracts. There are over 1400 benefits (both state and federal) afforded to married couples. When a state, nation, or community denies a GLBT couple the right to marry, the couple is being denied 1400 benefits. This isn’t just one or two. No, it’s nearly 2000 benefits. That is the disgusting reality and part of what makes these bans unconstitutional.

The 9th amendment also makes this unconstitutional. Basically, this amendment, which is in the Bill of Rights, acknowledges that there are rights not specifically in the constitution (such as the right to marry) and it guarantees protection to these rights, especially against any other amendments that are placed in said constitution. Essentially, by putting a constitutional amendment in the constitution, which bans GLBT individuals from marrying, the ninth amendment is being squelched. It’s not being upheld.

In conclusion, we have a long way to go until this country will be just and fair to GLBT individuals. I was proud to make history by helping to elect Barack Obama as my next president, but that excitement couldn’t help but be marred by the several steps taken back that limit the rights of GLBT individuals thanks to votes by people who don’t even understand what being GLBT is.

Technorati Tags: GLBT rights, gay rights, gay marriage, unconstitutional, steps back, constitutional amendment, protections, deny, courts