Transitioning Woes and Becoming Me


For those who know me, I have been living as a man since 2002. That’s when I started going by Dominick and slowly started telling family and friends about my transition. Since then, I’ve felt my transition has moved at a snail’s pace. I had to wait for my leg (fractured tibia) to heal to get in to see a therapist. Then I had other health issues and a constantly broken down wheelchair to contend with, which just pushed the process back.

A few years ago, I had the first of two top surgeries. I must admit, compared to how top heavy I was, its hard to tell I have much left. I still feel self-conscious when out in public because, other than for a very small amount of chest, I pass magnificently well. This is pre-T, which means passing with T will ensure there won’t be any question of whether I am male or female.

That brings me to T or testosterone for those who do not understand the lingo. Getting on T has to be the hardest part of my transition. The process doesn’t have to be difficult for anyone, but it has been for me. First, I was seeing a therapist. That should be the first step every transgendered individual takes. The Harry Benjamin Standards of Care for those with Gender Dysphoria requires at least three months of therapy before you can be prescribed T.

This was while my wheelchair was being stupid. It kept breaking down and I ended up having to quit therapy. It only took my therapist one or two sessions to deem me sane and a perfect candidate for hormone therapy. However, we hadn’t been seeing one another for three months. Her office was also incredibly small and my wheelchair was causing pain to my legs when sitting up so for practical reasons, I stopped seeing my therapist before I qualified for a letter of recommendation for T.

This was back when my insurance paid for therapy at her facility. It has since decided not to pay for therapy for me because I’m not mentally ill nor do I have any mental health issues. I have spent the time since then looking for psychologists. The ones I’ve found want as much as $300+ a month. That’s just not feasible. I have bills to pay and I’d feel bad about not paying extra (to reduce our debt) and taking that much money for my transition.

Now I’ve found a psychologist willing to work around my unique wheelchair situation and charge me around $125. I should have that money in the next month or so (we had to spend close to $1000 buying our son’s homeschool curriculum – which I hand develop – only the best for my son). I’m hoping to be able to get on T by Christmas.

Of course, therein lies another problem. I live in an area where there aren’t any doctors that understand transition issues. Ann Arbor and Detroit are both one hour away and I don’t have transportation to get to either city. I’m sure I’ll come up with a solution. Until then, I feel like this part of my transition is a long time in the coming.


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