Sunday, March 24, 2019
Family LifeParenting

More Adventures of Oliver Twist: Oliver and Hidden Valley Ranch

Oliver HATES Hidden Valley Ranch.

That statement above is not referring to the actual salad dressing. Who in their right mind would be giving salad to a Shih-Tzu? Oh no, my beloved pet hates the Hidden Valley Ranch commercial. He can pick it out of any that play on our television. Heck, he can hear it three rooms away and go into barky Shih-Tzu mode. He hates the commercial with a violent, little dog passion!

Oliver has been watching television since he was a baby, when we first got him. At first, we thought our little pup was just staring blankly at the television, but oh no! He actually watches. He will pay rapt attention to the television shows he watches. He loves watching Soap Operas with Nana (especially General Hospital) and sports with me. He even likes the occasional cartoon, though kids’ shows aren’t his favorite.

Of course, Oliver is mainly a critic of commercials. He has commercials he loves, commercials he can tolerate, and commercials he downright hates. Eventually, his tastes evolve and change though none have remained the same quite like his feelings about that fun, Hidden Valley where every kid loves their veggies.

At first, we thought it was just the sound of children on television. His first love/hate relationship was with the Band Aid commercial. Then, just to annoy him, I started singing, “I am stuck on Band Aid…cause Band Aid’s stuck on me…” Well he didn’t much care for my rendition either, so I know he happened to hate the song, but he’s slowly come to tolerate Band Aid and its commercial. I’m almost proud of him for his doggy evolution.

Not so with Hidden Valley Ranch. When Oliver hates something you best turn the channel or face the repercussions. He barks, whines, cries, howls, barks, lunges at the television, barks some more and he might just attack the clicker holder for refusing to mute or turn said channel. If it’s two AM and Hidden Valley comes on the television Nana leaves on (to help her sleep) look out! He’ll wake up most of the house, if they aren’t already awake. If Oliver had his way…Hidden Valley Ranch would be dead…from the airwaves.

Hidden Valley Ranch is his enemy and I’m almost afraid to play the video of the Hidden Valley Ranch commercial simply because I know he’ll hear it, three rooms away, over two fans and loud rain. He’ll hear it and want to destroy it (and me for playing it). Luckily, he can’t read, so I can continue to enjoy it on my salad!

On a side note: Ash was watching Big Top Pee Wee on television, and we’ve learned Oliver dislikes Hippos. He put his nose right up to the hippo on screen, holding the fat animal that could crush him like a toothpick to a stare down. The hippo, being on television, was uncooperative, so that just pissed Oliver off even more! Maybe we should get him his own dog blog? Oliver the critic indeed!

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Dominick
Dominick is a director/filmmaker, activist, writer, advocate, FTM transman from the Midwest who lives in New York. Follow his film career and join his weekly Twitter chat on film and disability by following #FilmDis. He received his BFA in Film Production in 2014.