Dear Chip Dip, My Ass Doesn’t Need You


Dear Chip Dip,

My ass no longer needs you. Neither does my double chin, or pretty much any other part of my chubby body. Why do you have to be so damn appealing and want me to eat you? We need to break up. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but we do. It isn’t forever, I hope, but maybe one day, when I am thinner, we can be friends again.

Love,
Dominick

Lipton Chip Dip Box

As much as I wish dieting were as simple as sending a letter to the food you wish not to eat and telling it to avoid you, in reality, the food ain’t gonna listen. That is because food is an inanimate object that fatties like me love to stuff our faces with then make excuses for why our asses have swelled to massive proportions. Sure, I can make excuses about not being able to work out much due to my disability, but stuffing my face with chicken wings, French fries, and chips and dip isn’t helping me any.

That’s why I have made an active decision to change my life, my eating lifestyle, and hope I find a way to slim down. Being fat does not help a disabled man at all. Watching Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution and realizing the reality about the food we put in our bodies did help and Ash has started reading food labels like a hawk. I’ve been making little changes, one at a time, but now it is almost time to give up my last bad habit, chips and dip, and what has been a relatively smooth transition, has become hard and sad for me.

I have to tell you, my weakness is not junk food in the traditional sense. It is fried food. I also used to be a pop drinker. I love Coke and Mello Yello, especially. When I realized how much high fructose corn syrup was in pop, giving it up was my first step. I have been pop free since April. Ash has also been trying to eliminate all the high fructose corn syrup from our diet. That was hard with ketchup still in our cupboards. In this economy, it’s foolish to waste what you have, but once we finished that ketchup, we officially became a high fructose corn syrup free house (minus the pop others in the house drink, but I don’t), as of June. Food tastes so much better without all the additives and preservatives.

My favorite fried food is chicken wings. I tried to cut them out almost exclusively from my diet. Since April I have had wings only once or twice and I cut them out of my diet completely in June. French fries, another favorite food, have been gone since April and Chicken tenders I have had only twice since April, baked not fried. I have avoided cheese sticks (only once since April), egg rolls (none for a year), fried chicken (none since before April), etc. It’s actually been easier than I thought, though I do miss the convenience of these foods.

We’ve cut down on eating out. A once in a week or more experience has become once every two or three weeks. We also do not go to burger joints if we go out to eat. I’ve cut pizza out almost completely, indulging in it only 2-3 times since April and if we do go out I get a salad or ranchero soft chicken tacos at Taco Bell and I only eat two of them as opposed to my nachos supreme, Chalupa, taco meal I used to get.

Even with salads, I am trying to cut back. I try to go for the oil based dressings as opposed to the creamy ones. I try not to oversaturate my salads with junk like crutons and bacon bits. I try to fill it with more vegetables and cheese (I need calcium). So, little changes are happening. I drink a lot more water these days and I hope my body is pleased with all the progress I feel I am making.

BUT…now it is time to give up my one last vice. Chip Dip. I am clinging to the chip dip like a child does their security blanket. I am a dipper. Giving up all my favorite foods has meant I no longer dip that much. No chicken wings in ranch or bleu cheese. No French fries in ketchup, cheese or both (or gravy – yum). No tenders in BBQ, sweet and sour or honey mustard. I am no longer Dom the Dipper and I think that is okay. However, I am fighting urges to stuff my face with chips and dip, with cravings like nobody’s business. Every day I want dip and every day I have an internal battle to tell myself why I cannot have it. Usually, my logical mind loses the argument and I indulge.

My only hope is to convince Ash not to buy any more of my brand of dip when its gone. I have come so far. I guess not being able to weigh myself does not make it easier. I cannot see any progress I have made to know if all my efforts are working. I should mention I don’t over-indulge in the dip when I do eat it. Still, it is not good for my body, and I am trying to change my eating lifestyle. Hopefully, chip dip and I will break up soon. Until then, I can only struggle to give up my last food vice, every day it sits in my fridge.

[tags]Chip Dip, Potato Chip, Diet, Fried Food, Lifestyle Change, Eating, Lose Weight[/tags]


One response to “Dear Chip Dip, My Ass Doesn’t Need You”

  1. keep the dip and lose the chips. I’ve had to face the hard truth of my backside and done some research on eating methods.

    Latest research points to The New Atkins Diet. I’m starting as soon as I can get off the steroids for my asthma.

    However you go, good luck.

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